You took the words right out of my mouth! It is like that for us as well. If I had to pick between D/s without the kinky BDSM or BDSM without the Dominance and submission the rest of the time, I would pick D/s hands down. My desire to serve my Master is not a sexual desire and most of the time my service to him is not of an erotic nature. Turning over judgment and trusting him to always do what is in my best interest, and in return working daily to be the best submissive I can be to him, is what defines my submission. For us, BDSM (or kinky sex) although an important part of our union, is the icing on the cake. Just my two copper tarns worth... ~blizz~