Quote Originally Posted by ~Lily~
Thank you for taking time to answer Mistress Florence. I think my main problem is I love being dominant, but it's the getting started I struggle with, I'm not used to it and it just feels so unnatural at present, I'm hoping with time it will improve, but can I really go against my usual self to get there?
Hi ~Lily~,

If you love being dominant, it will get easier over time.

I hope you've had some time to talk with your friend and explain what happened. He may have some insight into the situation that can help.

While I'm Miss to my Nat, I'm not a domme all the time, not even with him. We tend to go with what we feel like. However, if I want to play Miss Ruby, then we've worked out a little routine of sorts to help us get into our roles.

I might ask him if he wants to play.
If he says yes, then I'll tell him to do something that puts him in the submissive role.
It may be for him to offer himself to me or whatever I desire.
From this moment on, I'm in charge of our playtime.

Notice I say playtime. We're not in a 24/7 D/s relationship with strict rules. It's about having fun and enjoying each other as we choose.

If your sub needs you to be in charge during the whole session, they you may want to think about in advance what you'd like to do.

There are some great books on topping and female domming in the market. A number of web sites that can help, as well.

I like this bit from Akasha's
The Good Girl's Guide to Female Domination
http://www.akashaweb.com/women/goodgirlpreview.html

It's enough rules to get you started, give you something to think about and even reading it should help you determine if domming is something you'll want to continue to do.

To your success,

Ruby