Accidental disobedience? Would you accept that excuse from a child? From an employee?
More than once; "I forgot" doesn't fly in the vanilla world. Why should you accept that from your subs within the lifestyle.

Continual forgetfulness is not forgetfulness. It's no less willful than deliberate disobedience.

And why do you need an excuse for "the fun kind of punishment." What you do for fun is not a punishment. If a punishment is required... it shouldn't be fun. So you encourage your submissive to play at being disobedient in order to get fun-time. You're talking about playing at B&D and S&M while you roleplay D/s.

And worst of all... when you make your submissives the center of attention, you serve them.

My submissives serve me. NONE of them, past or present, nor likely in the future, fail to understand their role. They obey because the want to please me. They fear getting punished, not because I'm harsh but because they truly do not wish to displease me and gladly offer themselves up for a spanking or a paddle, ten or twentyfold the number, because they know it pleases me to have them across my knee.