Kink or lifestyle?

[tessa]

As you are well aware Tessa, we all tend to live up to the expectations of our surroundings, and if it doesn't do violence on our core being, then....why not? But IMHO being dominant isn't necessarily a sexual role, just as little as being submissive. It's just personality traits.

You answered my question, perfectly, Tom. Exactly what I wanted to have insight into. It all made sense to me. Thanks.

Tessa,

I'm with Tom on this one. Dominance can be separated from sex if you want it to be. I can make badlyguidedlittlemis shiver all down her spine in the middle of a pub with one word as long as it's the right word. There are certain little actions that have nothing to do with sex that let her know that she is safe and I've got her. The sex is a whole barrel of fun but there's so much more than that.

And more insight! And I understand this so well. Possibly surprising, but I do. Thanks, DrGeordie, for taking the time to address this with me.

hmmm kinky sex is in the mind. For me having sex with a sub/slave that is bound and powerless is not kinky it is my norm.

I really appreciate the way you worded this, Sir Russell. It helped a few things "click" into place. ~hugs~

Kinky for me might be fucking in a church baptismal pool with or without the congration there.

I appreciate this for so many other reasons.

Being submissive is important to my identity and the way I feel about my marriage.

This is a real gem of insight right here. Wow. So simple, yet says it all.

And what blizz said about icing... Oh...wait. ~re-reads her post~ Ohhhhhhh. Well, I still agree with all she said, just now it's in an entirely different context.

You are all just so fascinating to read.

ps. ~waves cookies at Red~