Adolescentilism

[Flaming_Redhead]

Some find it annoying and call me needy, some ignore it.

(My need probably can't be filled until I have a Dom, which is something I have never found irl)

I'm somewhat needy. Ok, I'm a lot needy, but I try so very hard not to be. I always feel rather foolish for crying about not being called or asked to come over when I find out there was some major catastrophe he had to deal with. *sigh*

Where have you been lookin', darlin'? I found one within a week at collarme.

Although I have grown out of it, I was very much a Daddy's girl when younger, in as much as all my partner's were older, father-figures, and I looked to them for guidance and (non-physical) discipline - but also for unconditional love, however badly I behaved. And I did push that bit... This was in a totally non-bdsm-aware context, but the relationships still hold true to that style.

I noticed my partners got progressively older when I started dating in my teens. I went from dating guys my age to dating seniors....to dating adults...and eventually wound up marrying a man 11 years older than me. When I divorced him, I went the opposite way at first, dating guys significantly younger. They're fun for awhile! *weg* However, I've wound up with a much older man again. I prefer not to be the more mature partner in the relationship.

Unconditional love....*sigh* That's what I want, too. I also push that "badly behaved" bit because I want to know he'll stay and love me no matter what. Abandonment issues, anyone?!?!

[seriouslynosn]

Where have you been lookin', darlin'? I found one within a week at collarme.

Recently I haven't been looking. I'm in a long time relationship, although we all know it can't last, not if I really want to be true to myself.

I noticed my partners got progressively older when I started dating in my teens.

Abandonment issues, anyone?!?!

You sound a lot like me. I did the same thing, in high school my bf was 30. In college my bf was 45. I have a bf right now, strangely he is a year younger than me. He's super smart and loves me lots. But...ya know, there's that.

Oh, and I have huge abandonment issues. Perhaps that's the underlying need for me to be a submissive. I feel like fulfilling the hopes and dreams of a man or woman will make them somehow feel that I am theirs. It's like...possessiveness through be possessed by someone. (horribly off topic)