Razor's First Level Three Assignment

[Ruby]

Razor,

It's looking much better. I really like this story.

For a moment, think like a woman and tell me more about John.
Aside from Hazel eyes and a whiff of cologne...
Is he tall, short, round, lean?
Hair color? Long or short?
Is he hairy or not?
Does she find him physically attractive?
What parts or the whole package?
His face? His smile? His butt?

I like how you threw in that he had to fix his clothes, so we know he was dressed at the begining. Yet there is something powerful about a man being dressed and his captive not. It would make the story even stronger to divulge this detail closer to the begining. I kept thinking he was naked until the end, then was shocked to find he wasn't.

When does he pull he pants down?
What is her reaction?

A bit here about the positioning of John and Erica:

John walked back to my front, running his fingers from the small of my back to just above my vagina. I twitched but accepted him as he pierced me with his cock and began pumping in unison with him.

I was just getting used to my husband's rhythmic thrusts when he took the plastic vibrator and shoved it into my asshole.

She is bound with her hands above her head. He is in front of her thrusting away. Okay, got it.

How did she accept him?
What's going on with her legs?
Is he bent at the knees with her legs around him?
Has her anus been lubed or prepped in any way?
If she hates anal, just how tight is she down there?

A little lube goes a long way to making this scene possible. No lube, and the chances of him spearing her with any anal toy in one thrust are slim or prone to cause a bit of bleeding.

And women are into those details.
Especially when they want to try these things out
after reading them.

What else?
The pacing of this story is well done, as is the use of active and past tenses.

It's a bit hard to read in web format. It's hard to tell who's being quoted, because in some instances, one character is speaking, yet the other has the physical action. Seperating the quotes from the description may help your readers. It's also okay to throw a "he or I said" in everynow and then.

For example:

He was right. He had always been safe in the past, but I still shook my head and said, "You know that I trust you, honey, but I don't want to put myself in that position. We should always try to keep things safe."

My husband sighed, and stared at me with disappointment and frustration in his eyes.

"Oh, please... it's summer break and we won't have to deal with students or administrators for over two months. Let's this be the summer of sexual adventure we were always wishing for, okay?"

He placed his hands on my arms, which were chained to the a ceiling hook by leather cuffs. He smiled at me in the same way that made me love him from our very first date.

Looking forward to your comments and another revision,

Ruby