i had no idea...honestly i thought there was something wrong with me..at the time i had no idea of the lifestyle or anything. i just knew that my sex life was not what i wanted. I just didn't understand how i was feeling. it's funny looking back.. i must have tried a million different ways to misbehave so that he would get mad and punish me...so he would take me how i wanted. Then my friends mom opened a small bdsm club and her and i went for the opening...talk about an eye opener *laughing in remembering* i was caught hook, line and sinker. LOl i knew this was what i had been missing.