While some Dom/mes may be about subjugating their submissives will and self esteem, many more are indeed just like you Tigress.

We desire subs who have a high regard for themselves. Those who do are the best able to serve their doms. That's what I want, to be well served. If I had to be picking up the pieces of their ego that I strip away from them... I wouldn't be able to get that from them.