Online vs Real Life

[sidhewolf]

Because of the sensitivity of some towards the term "real" when talking about online v. "real life" I've started using 'In The Flesh' (ITF or itf) to differentiate.

I think online can be as real and as satisfying as any ITF relationship. Before the internet, many people had very satisfying relationships as penpals or even intimate correspondants. The net is far more real because of its immediacy and quick turnaround time. Is a phone real or remote? Our modern technologies have made online so close to real, it raises the question... a question probably never asked in earlier times.

I value my online friends highly, wouldn't want to do without them. But I also make no bones about it... if you want to explore a bdsm/lifestyle relationship with me, itf has got to be a potential possibility. I need the physical contact, to hear, see, feel, taste, and smell. Otherwise, for me, an online relationship is too much like a writing exercise.

Just to mention (because of Your note), my differentiation of "Online vs Real Life" topic title wasn't to offend Anyone, or hurt Anyones feelings. The topic title was Chosen per the questions asked Solely.

I Agree that things online can be very Real indeed, but express also that many times they just seem that way, for the reasons You mention. I Agree that a phone is a Real communication device, but I also acknowledge I cannot actually hug or Touch the person on the other end of the receiver, even during phonesex <G>. Fantasy is a wonderfull thing I think, as long as a person can realize and Know there is a difference. And personally I have never had an online Relationship that was nearly as satisfying and fullfilling as one INF. Though I do Agree online can be fun, or even a means to the end of going RT. BTDT! <big smiles>. Just pondering and wondering OP's perspectives on these things. Since it is still such a confusion for me how some do online as if it is their day to day Lives, and Other(s), like me for example, cannot wrap their head around the concept of How online can be RL in itself when our computer is a very small fragment of what is actually physically In our environement. I also do wonder why some PPL settle for an online Relationship (some for years), when there is RL to Live if one will just Live it?

There is also the scarrey PPL out there BTW. Both my Partner and I have e-met them. The ones who issue demands and other ultimatums re; ones RT Life, via email and other means of communicating across the net. Net-Stalkers? <G>. I do wonder about these some too. What can possibly be going on in the mind of someone who trys these tactics, as if they are standing right there before you? <shivers>.

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[Ozme52]

Just to mention (because of Your note), my differentiation of "Online vs Real Life" topic title wasn't to offend Anyone, or hurt Anyones feelings. The topic title was Chosen per the questions asked Solely.

Nor did I take it as such... but this topic almost always devolves to an argument about what does 'real life' mean... and I thought to defuse that issue so that your questions, as offered, could be discussed.

So far... so good.

[sidhewolf]

Nor did I take it as such... but this topic almost always devolves to an argument about what does 'real life' mean... and I thought to defuse that issue so that your questions, as offered, could be discussed.

So far... so good.

<smiles> I didn't think you took it wrong Ozme. But because your reponse noted it could be by someone, I wanted to input that clarification of Intent.

I Agree, "so far so good" <soft smiles>. I value all the feedback received thusfar and the thoughts posed to ponder.

And Thank You for your help also Ozme.

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[tessa]

but this topic almost always devolves to an argument about what does 'real life' mean... So far... so good.

It is nice to see such a sensitive topic dealt with in a respectful, meaningful way. It really does mean so much to so many and discussion about it only promotes continual development, so yay for no arguments.

For myself, I don't engage in online relationships or the like. As I've said over and over, I just don't know how to type out all those sounds I make.

Seriously, I can't devote the time it would take to make such a thing work. If I had the time?- I've been asked that. I have to say no. For one big reason, I'm married to a man who is interested in developing our marriage into a more D/s relationship. Another reason, I can't trust for anything. Not so fair to inflict that on anyone. So, I just post in the Forums at times. And I flirt all over the place...but I'm a hit and run kind of flirt, so beware.

I took this question and applied the term "real" to myself, placed it as a label on me to see how it "fit", as it were. Am I "real"? ~checks all the necessary components~ Yep, I sure am. And more importantly, despite what a few think, I'm very real, in the truest sense of the word, with the people I have come to know and trust, whether I meet them in the flesh or online. However, there are very, very few of those people. With everyone else, I'm not so real. Now, I don't lie about my age (anymore) or how I look (for better or worse), nor about my gender (I adore being a woman, so why would I??) or where I live ('cause that's where my DAWGS live!). But I'm not real, in a deep, meaningful way, with just this or that person. And that goes for online or in the flesh. Is that wrong or less than in some way? Sure it is. But that's me. So...

A lot of PPL like online play and Roleplay online. Some see it as something Real. Some do not.

I hear about online Collarings, Committments, Contracts, and other such as this of a serious nature. But if it is *just online* How can it be Real Life? <scratching head>.

For those of You who have Serious online Relationship(s), what do You see as Real about them? Do they affect Your day to day Real Life? And how so?

It's all about perspective. For each individual, that's the only "real" that matters.