Hi all,

After a long discussion about safewords with the one I submit to, I decided to search for a good thread discussing safewords and came across this one. There's some widely varying viewpoints here and I found each one interesting (and one or two downright scary).

Here are my thoughts - based on my conversations with him:

First, I must say that I've only used my safeword once - and it was on a writing task that was psychologically difficult for me - one that to anyone else would be "no big deal" - but for me, it was a big deal. And I couldn't do it. And he respected the safeword, just as he has promised to always do.

I believed that safewords were for me alone. A way to slow down or stop something that was too much. A protection for me against him. After several conversations about the topic, over several months, I now know better. Yes, the safeword is still a protection for me. But, ultimately, I believe (because he explained it to me) the safeword is for him. He trusts that I will use it if necessary (and only if necessary - not to "test" him). The safeword gives him ultimate freedom to use that which belongs to him (me) without fear of going too far. As a result, we both get to experience each other completely, without fear.

Another thing he has promised to me - not to push me too far, too hard, too quickly, just to see if I'll use the safeword. He considers that to be a breach of the bond between us.

Isn't he simply wonderful? (Yes, I'm gooey over him.)

jeanne