Safewords and Safesigns

[Sir_Russell]

jeanne.

There is a problem with depending too much on a safe word. If you are gone into either sub-space or hyper-orgasm space you MAY forget to use the safe word or not even know you should. This is why the Dom job is very hard, he must be the one in control and that includes knowing that he is about to go to far.

I learned this one the hard way and hope my advice will help you both.

[jeanne]

jeanne.

There is a problem with depending too much on a safe word. If you are gone into either sub-space or hyper-orgasm space you MAY forget to use the safe word or not even know you should. This is why the Dom job is very hard, he must be the one in control and that includes knowing that he is about to go to far.

I learned this one the hard way and hope my advice will help you both.

Sir_Russell,

Thanks so much for your post! Yes, you are right - being unable to remember it is a concern of both of ours. Fortunately, he's moving ahead in small steps (no big leaps from level to level) and is taking the time to "learn me". And, when he is unsure about my body language he backs off/slows down a bit and then he asks me afterward what was I thinking at that time. Again proving that communication is key. A perfect example - he's learned that my squirming away a bit is not a stop sign - it's just my body's initial reaction to something new. After a few moments, all is well. I simply need to adjust. And want the opportunity to adjust. He's ended things prematurely once or twice based on that, until he realized what was really happening.

I expect getting to that "can't remember" place is quite far into the future for us, and by then he will know me well enough to be able to judge for himself.

I thank you again,
jeanne

[caligirl{Rob}]

Sir_Russell,

Thanks so much for your post! Yes, you are right - being unable to remember it is a concern of both of ours. Fortunately, he's moving ahead in small steps (no big leaps from level to level) and is taking the time to "learn me". And, when he is unsure about my body language he backs off/slows down a bit and then he asks me afterward what was I thinking at that time. Again proving that communication is key. A perfect example - he's learned that my squirming away a bit is not a stop sign - it's just my body's initial reaction to something new. After a few moments, all is well. I simply need to adjust. And want the opportunity to adjust. He's ended things prematurely once or twice based on that, until he realized what was really happening.

I expect getting to that "can't remember" place is quite far into the future for us, and by then he will know me well enough to be able to judge for himself.

I thank you again,
jeanne

how very well stated jeanne! I absolutely agree communication is the key, and that goes for body language and overall temperment as well...by taking the time to get to know how I work, He is able to take me to places I could never have imagined!
hugs!
cali