Firstly, thanks again for your concerns, opinions and support. I greatly appreciate your view and honesty, and you won't offend or hurt me by telling me your thoughts. I would like to say, though, that all of this is of course coming from my point of view, and thus more than just a little one-sided. We have known each other for a long time by now (it's going to 9 years), and have been playing with each other on and off for years as well. It's something that apparently keeps us together, and we know each other quite well on basically all levels...which is probably a part of the problem, too (expecting the other one to know without actually saying something).

He's not a bad person, and he cares a great deal about me. He is just too damn stubborn at times to listen to me, or to understand what I mean or want. We had a good talk for a change, and if nothing else I can understand his feelings a bit better now (now all I have to do is to get him to understand mine). Apparently he thinks that I put too many rules and regulations on him (in my eyes there are none, real limits aside) and that I managed to become the boss, and am exploiting the fact that he actually cares for me. I don't really know why he feels that way, and I don't think that I did anything to suggest that this is the way I want things to be, but I don't doubt that he really feels that way. That of course would make feeling dommy quite difficult, though.

Anyway, I don't think that I'm the one to blame either -- and it's not in my interest to blame anybody at all anyway. I only want to find solutions, and a sex-life please I told him rather bluntly that the situation as it was was and is emotionally taxing for me, and that I want to work on finding a solution rather than sitting around and hoping that at some point things will get better again. I also said that his behaviour in all this begins to wear down the trust, and that I'm not willing to do things as intimate as those with somebody who I feel I can't really trust, or who I feel doesn't respect and value what I contribute to it. In the end he admitted that he began to take a lot of things for granted, and felt that it was not necessary to be extra-sensitive with me because we've known each other for so long. Apparently I'm not turned on anymore by things that used to turn me on (which is not accurate, I just don't spring into horny-mode instantly because he grabs a rope or spanks me or whatever), and he has no clue how to deal with me anymore. I suppose he is too proud to react to my suggestions, though -- that's why I love your suggestion with the stories, drusilla. Definitely going to try that one

Anyway, if nothing else I think he understood that I have a serious problem there, and that I'm not willing to continue like this forever. We have agreed to start fresh and little all over again, and so to speak "re-explore" each other again. This sounds reasonable to me, but I admit I'm still a bit doubtful that it works out. First thing is to rebuild the trust that got lost on the way, though. So, let's see what happens.

And dearest Draco and dru -- I'm really glad that things worked out for you, even if it's a slow process. Seems like there is still some hope left

Other than that, I am being very careful and prepared to leave this relationship should the need arise. I try not to make the same mistake twice, and I will not let anybody overstep my boundaries ever again. If my well-being -- be it mental, emotional or physical -- is at stake I'll leave, and take whatever steps necessary to protect myself. But as said, he's not a bad guy, just damn stubborn, insensitive and clumsy at times.