I agree with dru here, it is the Dom's position to lead. If he is letting you get away with the way you are treating him, and not leading, acting Domly, or otherwise giving you an indication that you should be in subspace, or that he is in Domspace, to hell with him, it's his fault, not yours. You should not feel bad about what you are doing, you are only trying to find something to enjoy in this down time.

I do hope that you and him either work things out, or that you can both come to an agreement and you would be able to get someone who will treat you with the respect and discipline a submissive deserves.