Yes that word is probably one of the most hurtful words out there.. disappointment...
Really hope you get back up on your feet quickly. You sure seem like a special gal

Not everyone is into real pain and especially not quickly. I am moving really slowly with my gal and seems to be working just fine. Slow introductions into the bdsm lifestyle is important if you dont know how he/she might react to all the things that is.

Wish you the best.
stick around here and take care