Kelly, a sub can be trained to do things for her Dom as long as they fall within
your boundaries. That means, they must respect and accept there are things that are clearly red flag for you.
If I remember correctly, one of your past tops pushed you further than you wanted to go. It upset you,
as it should. You figured out that he was
not a good Dom.
Similarly, a dom who is rarely acknowledges your sincere attempts to please him, and doesn't show you how, should be kicked to the curb. I consider that emotional abuse.
I totally agree with Aesop here:
Part of the fun or high a dom gets is in training the sub to do what they want for the dom's pleasure. In doing so, they take the sub to a place in their submissiveness they've never been before. Think about that.

As always, my thoughts are for you.