well i guess i pipe in on this from the other side.......but understand first that we were going through the same thing she felt to submit was an effort and i felt to dom was a burden.......it is what it is i do not want the submission to be an effort.....I do not want to feel burdened to be dominant.....it is a vicous cycle that is hard to get out of and even if we would have the damage was allready done saying sorry would never be enough on either side......when you hurt someone its like driving a nail into a board nail after nail over and over again....you can come along and say you are sorry and pull all of the nails out........but the nail holes will allways remain.........we are done and sure am i sorry that things just would not work....sure......am i sorry it is over.......no i am actually happy about it....it just was not right or healthy for either of us