I haven't been here in ages, so I'm sure nobody will recognise me, but that's okay! (I never posted much anyway.) I just wanted to remark about the original post in this thread, as a submissive woman:

I am very glad to see this topic, and to see it being discussed from many angles. Here is my opinion:

It is an unhealthy and, yes, I'll use the word- abusive relationship when one partner diminishes the lasting self-worth of the other. I believe that my husband has the right to discipline me, and part of that entails the expression of disappointment, which makes me feel bad- but at the end of the day, he explains that he is disappointed because he knows I am not only capable, but brilliantly able, to do xyz. And usually, I am. The gift of my trust is precious, and I expect him to honor that. He gives me what I need, and what I need, ultimately, is to be a better, more whole and complete person. The route we take to get there (because I believe I contribute to his well being, too) may be different from a mainstream couple, but the details don't matter, so long as we achieve it. If he didn't care, express his pride in me, show his love for me, and honor what I freely give him, he would not be worthy of holding the title of 'Dom' 'Master' 'Sir' or what have you- that might be a little extreme, so I'll amend it- he wouldn't be worthy of owning any part of me.

You can't tell by this post, but I have a lot of issues with self worth, but I have learned something infinitely valuable from him: I am worth the effort it takes to be a good dominant partner. Time and time again, before we even dreamed we would end up married (2 years this June!), he told me not to settle for anything less than what I deserved, and then he would go into great detail about what that meant.

Submissive partners reading this, please know that your gift is worth more than you can imagine, and you know in your heart if you are settling for something lesser. Don't settle, please. I came dangerously close to doing that, and I would have been broken by it. But even if you think you are broken now, no matter how broken, you can heal. You deserve to heal. You deserve support.

So, no, Tigress, you are not a wuss. You are the strongest dominant partner out there, because caring makes you vulnerable, and it takes a hell of a lot more strength to do that than it does to cut yourself off. Wanting what is best for your partner shows confidence in who you are- his greatness bolsters yours, it doesn't threaten you. And that is truly rarer than some might think.

I've gone on too long, but this really struck me, and I had to speak up. I will try to check in more often. (Disclaimer: If I've inadvertantly offended anyone, I wouldn't change a single thing I've said, but I'd be willing to hear how it offended and if there's another phrasing that is more acceptable to us both, I'd gladly use it. Otherwise, I make no apologies.)