gloombunny there has the right idea, but I'll give my opinion anyway, because I love to. There've been a lot of discussions about the nature of what it means to "cyber". My definition is this: Hooking up with somebody online and having the text version of phone sex. In my relationship, it would be a breach of my trust (cheating) if my husband did that without my knowledge. Or without some lengthy discussion first, which I know doesn't line up with how a lot of you are going to view power exchange, but that's how we are. I would also never do it without his knowledge and approval in advance. I think even flirting with people online can get out of hand, which is why if I do flirt, it tends to be at arm's length, unless I know the person is "safe" (ie, never, ever, ever gonna be interested in pursuing me) and I know him/her well. I am surprised at how much I have to say on the subject- I just deleted a whole paragraph about developing close relationships online, because it's not really relevant. The whole point is that it's between you and your significant other. If it's not between you (ie, a secret), then I think there's a problem.