Is cyber cheating

[Arria]

@ new1: I think the operative word is "secretly" here. What I wonder is, if she thought it was ok, why did she do it behind your back in the first place.

And it´s not a definition problem anyway. No matter what it is - if one of the partners is not happy with it, and the other ignores his feelings, it is not a sign of her loving or even respecting you very much, is it?
The point is not: 1000 people on this page say it is cheating, so by telling her that you "prove" it actually is.
The point is, she is hurting your feelings and does not care. So if you want to discuss that with her, it would be the way to go.

And I don´t mean to sound heartless, but if she does not care about your feelings, why would you want to stay with such a person?

She is right on a legal point, meaning if you take it to court her actions will not qualify as cheating; but she hurts you on an emotional level, and that is what counts here, after all.

Kind regards and best wishes
Arria

[annie]

The point is, she is hurting your feelings and does not care. So if you want to discuss that with her, it would be the way to go.

And I don´t mean to sound heartless, but if she does not care about your feelings, why would you want to stay with such a person?

I am using Arria's post as the example ONLY because it was the more previous post to mine. That having been said...

Having been there it may not be a matter of heartless... after all, we are only getting one side of the story. What lead up to her "cheating?" Were there problems before that she attempted to bring to the surface that he wasn't willing to discuss? Was he meeting her needs both physically AND emotionally? He is condemning her for behavior that he is in some fashion enacting himself (at least from her point of view)?

Some of these posts are instantly condemning someone we don't know based on very little, one sided, information. And even if new1 tells us the FULL story it is still only HIS side of the story. We still will not have a frame of reference as to her thinking, feeling, etc. on the topic.

There is more here then meets the eye, it takes two to ruin a relationship just as it takes two to maintain one. So, I think we all need to back out, stop judging that which we do not know completely, and let new1 work it through with his partner only.

Yes, some of us may have been cheated on or cheated on someone before. But, each relationship is different and the 2 involved are the only qualified ones to determine the next course of action.

I understand why the question was posted, but no good will come from us validating either new1's or the other's behavior.