What is your safety word and what control does the dom have? (explained more inside)

[icey]

ok the first question is pretty simple, what is your safety word? I ask because master and I needed one but the best we could do is kiwi, i was curoius what others use

we came to agreement some time ago that i gave up my safeword (my wishes) we have been together and played together long enough for me to know that he would never do anything i couldnt take.
we did have the traffic light system in place originally,evey so often when things were getting further he would ask which colour it was green for continue,amber for continue but im nearing my limits.
but i had a safeword,which was i choose to stop, he chose this one because it is something i had to think about and state clearly rather than just shout it out in the heat of things.
as a rule its been Icehawk that has decided when to stop as it doesnt always register for me when ive 'had enough' he's the one who takes responsibility in that area.
although if i did feel i needed to use it then i still could and he would ALWAYS respect that stop immediately and then we would discuss why and use it for future reference.
ive never needed to use mine in play,the only time ive used it was during a punishment! right while he was dishing out the crop strokes i started with a stomach bug lol

my second question is how much control does the dom have in the relationship, like does your punishment come in a certain way? Like in this one story i read over at adultfanfiction.net this couple is in BDSM and every time the sub does something wrong or breaks her master's rules he writes down a punishment in a notebook and she must copy and sign, but if she doesn't agree she can come to a compromise, anywayz you should check it out, it's a great story but thats off topic. My master has a point system. i start off at 0 and i have to earn points and i get rewarded, but if i misbehave i get negative points and bad things will happen or so i am told. So does any one else have something like that in their relationship?

does the question make any sense at all?

Icehawk without fail before any punishment determines quite clearly if i am prepared to accept it and understand fully the reasons why so there's no confusion afterwards, as well as protecting my well being he has to protect his this might sound odd to some but it works for us,
punishment can be an emotional minefield and all partys need to be fully 'prepared' mentally
if someone hasnt 'consented' or are not sure as to why then its no longer punishment but almost form of abuse whether that be a physical or non physical punishment.

sounds quite farfetched but in reality if i do something he doesnt like and feels it needs correcting then if im genuinely unsure as to what ive done wrong and why im to be punished then it would be very confusing.

as an eg on a mornings as i didnt want to disturb him id get up prepare his coffee for later and leave him to sleep,Icehawk told me he wasnt happy that i wasnt waking him and he didnt want to be shouting down the stairs for it.
i thought i was being considerate and doing the right thing...he thought otherwise, he didnt punish me and he understood my reasons but if he had done and without explanation i would have would have been very hurt and not had a clue what id done to deserve it and would have caused a lot of confusion!

its a fine line i guess ...some might argue i have control because i have to consent to punishment but really he actually has the control because those are HIS rules.