Quote Originally Posted by icey View Post
....as a rule its been Icehawk that has decided when to stop as it doesnt always register for me when ive 'had enough' he's the one who takes responsibility in that area...
i'm glad to see you state that here icey hun, many subs when in the throw of things, with endorphins flooding them may not register everything properly and it is up to their Dominant to be mindful of the state she is in or entering. Also, as the core in a submissive is to please, she may be passing her limits but won't use a safeword in fear of disappointing Him.


Quote Originally Posted by icey View Post
Icehawk without fail before any punishment determines quite clearly if i am prepared to accept it and understand fully the reasons why so there's no confusion afterwards, as well as protecting my well being he has to protect his this might sound odd to some but it works for us,
punishment can be an emotional minefield and all partys need to be fully 'prepared' mentally
if someone hasnt 'consented' or are not sure as to why then its no longer punishment but almost form of abuse whether that be a physical or non physical punishment.

sounds quite farfetched but in reality if i do something he doesnt like and feels it needs correcting then if im genuinely unsure as to what ive done wrong and why im to be punished then it would be very confusing.

as an eg on a mornings as i didnt want to disturb him id get up prepare his coffee for later and leave him to sleep,Icehawk told me he wasnt happy that i wasnt waking him and he didnt want to be shouting down the stairs for it.
i thought i was being considerate and doing the right thing...he thought otherwise, he didnt punish me and he understood my reasons but if he had done and without explanation i would have would have been very hurt and not had a clue what id done to deserve it and would have caused a lot of confusion!

its a fine line i guess ...some might argue i have control because i have to consent to punishment but really he actually has the control because those are HIS rules.
*applauds* i love this really and it's the first time i've seen it said, thank you hun