common traits

[icey]

this is a follow up from mastersgems thread about what makes a submissive, while everyone is not the same as mastersgem pointed out many subs do tend to share a lot of commanalities and not just the wantng to please aspect.

i did this elsewhere it was surprising at just how many did share the same habits and traits and it was interesting that as people added their own how people would relate to it . heres some to start with.

an almost obsession with cleaning.
trying every new cleaning product that comes out (then almost always going back to their regular brands)
detesting body hair (on themselves)
more concern with personal hygiene
sticking strictly to routines (their own not given tasks)
all special offers ie buy one get one free (even when its something they wouldnt normally buy)
animal lovers
have more difficulty disciplining children
become easily hurt when criticised
percieving criticism often when its not even there
difficulty or confusion to adjusting to new routines.
generally more highly sexed and sexual than vanillas
less likely to send food or take faulty goods back
fiesty tempers
take more pride in their appearance
prefer less clutter in their household

again not every ones the same and im sure there's quite a few will disagree with me, but it can somteimes be revealing.

[Isabella King]

Shit! I came to this thinking - I'm not like you lot - I'm different. I'm a strong person and I've worked through my issues and come to terms with my inadequacies. If I find any similarities it's going to be down to coincidence - nothing else.

Shit!

I'm working on my OCD.
I hate changes to my routine and only noticed recently how hard it is to cope with an unforeseen circumstance. My mind goes blank and I get dizzy and feel sick.
Yep - can't stand body hair.
He's working on the criticism thing but I hate it! hate it! hate it!
I'd put the high sex drive down to him - he knows how to work me.
No one is more minimalist than me - I have a novel that I'm reading at the moment. When it’s finished - the day it's finished - I'll give it to the local charity shop.
Feisty temper? afraid so.
Hygeine and appearance go without saying
I don't normally return things - he does. But sometimes he makes me do it and I find I have to work hard at controlling my anger and being polite but firm.

Of course, I don't agree with them all but more than enough to completely freak me out

[gemmy]

well that's pretty scarey icey hun wow

yes, i do have many of the above traits with the exception of the obsession of cleaning lol i'm not a pig most certainly but my house gets to be quite a pit sometimes with just two gurls living in it

i would add that not only along with criticism being taken very hurtfully as is
anyone raising their voice to me almost immediately brings me to tears, regardless of who it is

i'll have to keep this one in my head and see what others i can think of as i'm sure there are many more

great post!

[icey]

whats even more scarey is when you actually look closely most of them are pretty negative too lol

i also hate being shouted at,

sulking, is another one of mine *blushes*
going from one extreme to another ie: overly spendthrift with money or go blow the lot on clothes and shoes you dont need ....tho that might just be me lol
guilt feelings and/or complexes
easily worried no matter how minor
need a lot of attention and/or reassurance

and of course it go's without saying....way sweeter and cuter than our vanilla counter parts

[crazy_grrluk]

all special offers ie buy one get one free (even when its something they wouldnt normally buy)
lol im a bitch for that...oh and collecting money off coupons as well
I hate parting with money... even on the essentials LOL

[gemmy]

lol icey, yes the overly worrying about minor things or

carrying a high amount of anxiety over absolutely nothing which causes you to suffer minor anxiety and/or panic attacks

and you're right they are all mostly negative as only we can tend to see the things that aren't pleasing people and take it upon ourselves as guilt and blame

of course we're way sweeter and cuter :P hehe - funny you say it cause i get told that all the time "you're so cute" haha - i didn't get the 'gorgeous' gene or the 'beautiful' gene but being cute is something i do enjoy being *winks*

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I've gone through everyone's previous posts and let me see what traits I have in common with y'all:

More concern with personal hygiene
Become easily hurt when criticized
Percieving criticism when it's not there
More highly sexed and sexual than vanillas
Less likely to take food or faulty goods back
Animal lover
Feisty temper
Take more pride in appearance
Sulking
Going from one exteme to another
Guilt feelings and/or complexes
Easily worried
Need a lot of attention and/or reassurance
Way sweeter and cuter than vanilla counterparts

And I agree with mastersgem: since I didn't get the "beautiful" gene or the "gorgeous" gene, I'll gladly take the "cute" gene!

[~faerie~]

wow...ok *shakes head* lmao
very interesting

Become easily hurt when criticized
Percieving criticism when it's not there
More highly sexed and sexual than vanillas
Feisty temper
Sulking
Going from one exteme to another
Guilt feelings and/or complexes
Easily worried
Need a lot of attention and/or reassurance
minor anxiety and/or panic attacks
an almost obsession with cleaning, definitely prefer less clutter
detesting body hair (on themselves)
more concern with personal hygiene
Take more pride in appearance
have more difficulty disciplining children
difficulty or confusion to adjusting to new routines.
generally more highly sexed and sexual than vanillas

[Sir_Russell]

This sounds like proof of my Subbie Disease theory.

And the best ones all seem to have it

[silver9]

That's quite scary!

an almost obsession with cleaning.
more concern with personal hygiene
all special offers ie buy one get one free (even when its something they wouldnt normally buy)
animal lovers
difficulty or confusion to adjusting to new routines.
generally more highly sexed and sexual than vanillas
fiesty tempers
take more pride in their appearance
prefer less clutter in their household

I'm more fiery though, I'd always send back food and would argue with people and shout a children, but I've got a bit of a bad temper

[Isabella King]

This sounds like proof of my Subbie Disease theory.

And the best ones all seem to have it

Stop it! There's no such thing as your 'Subbie disease.'

[DOMLORD]

This sounds like proof of my Subbie Disease theory.

And the best ones all seem to have it

call me doctor DOM.

[Isabella King]

call me doctor DOM.

What's the cure then, Doc?

[DOMLORD]

a BIG shot 'o the doc's special vitamin dom.
i got to ask though, icey, why would you be less apt at disciplinig kids?
you're an animal lover, you want animals to behave, and humans are just another animal right?

[Isabella King]

As long as your shot of vitamins is clean, free of hair and not likely to shout at me

[gemmy]

ok so if we don't mind getting back on topic....

would it be safe to say that we (submissives) let an unusual amount of people around us take extreme advantage? friends, family, employers

I used to be the worst for letting people run and dictate my life - now seeing it for what it is, I've had more than a few people walk away from me because now apparently I'm rude for not wanting to any longer bend to their will

[neitsyst2]

I think I do tend to let those around me take extreme advantage. And I wasn't aware of it, but reading the post above...mastersgem you may have found the reason why sometimes I'm viewed as rude and self-centered and other times as a giver to the extreme. I'm so glad to have something to think about!

[silver9]

I don't think I'm taken advantage of really, but I'm not really submissive in character apart from when I'm around someone I'm willing to submit to... if that makes sense

[Cool Luke's Hand]

ok so if we don't mind getting back on topic....

would it be safe to say that we (submissives) let an unusual amount of people around us take extreme advantage? friends, family, employers

No. Maybe you do, maybe the rest of you do, maybe it's a side-effect of being a woman rather than being a submissive, all I know is that I don't. I don't fall into many of the above categories either.

[gemmy]

No. Maybe you do, maybe the rest of you do, maybe it's a side-effect of being a woman rather than being a submissive, all I know is that I don't. I don't fall into many of the above categories either.

Ummmm hostile much? ok good for you, you too are UNIQUE - wow what a revelation!!!

AGAIN, was just put as something to think about, and i don't really care if i'm the only one - i'm never above being proved wrong

Fairly pathetic trying to have a discussion lately with a few specific people who just have to piss in your corn flakes just for the sake of attention *rolls eyes* - it would be different if you even bothered to add something constructive as opposed to just venting your unwanted hostility on all of us

[Cool Luke's Hand]

If I were going to be hostile, I'd have said something like "shut up, your opinion is stupid and you are stupid" and, unless someone edited it when I wasn't looking, I didn't say that. All I did there was answer the question "Is it safe to say that submissives let people take advantage of them?" to the best of my knowledge - I don't, you might, the rest of you might, and it may even be a side-effect of being female or a female submissive, all I can say for sure is that I don't. If anybody comes in here and tries to make a sweeping statement, whether they're agreeing or disagreeing with you, they're going to be wrong solely because that's not possible to know for sure. And if you're going to try to make a snide little insult, at least have the guts to name names. There's nothing more irritating than someone throwing in an insult without actually directing it at you, it means that the moderators will refuse to do anything.

[gemmy]

anyway back on topic and now I'll be MORE literal for those who don't understand 'general' references, seems I'm quite the target for people needing to vent their individuality on so I apologize

I, personally, only me, find that I, only, have a penchant to want to help people - no matter the regard or what they need, I usually go out of my way if I can to try to get them what they need - many times giving my last of anything so they can have it

[icey]

ok so if we don't mind getting back on topic....

would it be safe to say that we (submissives) let an unusual amount of people around us take extreme advantage? friends, family, employers

I used to be the worst for letting people run and dictate my life - now seeing it for what it is, I've had more than a few people walk away from me because now apparently I'm rude for not wanting to any longer bend to their will

yep! ive been at the end of that particular one lol its frustrating as im considered the most contrary and awkward one of all by most who know me yet im the one who every time gave in to everything and everyone so when i dont i guess it stands out more and it winds them up.

ive noticed that people here have been saying women subs but ive found that a lot of male subs have many of the same traits.

heres another one
defending and explaining anything and everything, often going into great detail.

i still havnt worked out if that ones because we feel we should or because we just have a need to...if it makes sense?

[gemmy]

yes, icey hun, it does make sense and i'm not sure either if it's because we should or it's just our own need to

I'm learning it matters not to the person we try to explain to, they really don't care and I've been trying to stop doing that in my life, for example, something simple:

asking the boss for a day off (earned) - instead of saying, "I need next Wednesday off, I have to go do blah blah blah", I've been just saying "I'm taking next Wednesday off" - no explanation for why and have found, they don't care why, just that you let them know you won't be at work since they have almost never asked why

it's as much a practice of removing certain words from my vocabulary such as: because, sorry, but i...., and things like that - a hard habit to break but I think it's slowly working, at least for me

as far as female vs. male submissives go, all my references are females as I really don't know any male subs to know and even in this thread, is populated by female submissive posts which seems a bit odd to me in that in the chatrooms I've been in, the male subs seem to be far more vocal sometimes than the gurls.

[BorderCollie]

This sounds like proof of my Subbie Disease theory.

And the best ones all seem to have it

Geeeeeeeez,
Don't know how I missed this one, this is my sub/wife to perfection..... I'm gob smacked.
I do have a question for all you subs (female) out there.

Most of the subs (and mine) also have another thing in common, they are CRAFTY types, mine for example is a mad quilter and will spend hours doing it.
She also finishes other peoples quilts for them, and will happily unpick someone elses mistakes, 'cause it just ain't perfect.

How many others are like this???

[Isabella King]

QUILTING! Are you having a laugh, BorderCollie?

[TomOfSweden]

I think this is a great thread. Please, subs that haven't joined in. Please to. I'd love to read and learn.

All we need now is the same thread for doms.

[gemmy]

Geeeeeeeez,
Don't know how I missed this one, this is my sub/wife to perfection..... I'm gob smacked.
I do have a question for all you subs (female) out there.

Most of the subs (and mine) also have another thing in common, they are CRAFTY types, mine for example is a mad quilter and will spend hours doing it.
She also finishes other peoples quilts for them, and will happily unpick someone elses mistakes, 'cause it just ain't perfect.

How many others are like this???

lol sorry BorderCollie but I couldn't craft anything if I tried

[Isabella King]

I think this is a great thread. Please, subs that haven't joined in. Please to. I'd love to read and learn.

All we need now is the same thread for doms.

Wouldn't it be equally as nice to have a Dom thread in a similar vein, Tom?

[newslave]

Ah! This website is lovely...finally i make sense to myself !

an almost obsession with cleaning - beyond obsession...i'll clean at 4 in the morning.
And i'll do whatever i can to make things spotless
i have a lot of concern with personal hygiene
i stick strictly to routines (their own not given tasks)
i'm very good at saving money
i have more difficulty disciplining children
i become easily hurt when criticised
i percieve criticism often when its not even there
i am generally much more highly sexed and sexual than vanillas - - all the time i want sex!
i am always less likely to send food or take faulty goods back
i have a crazy fiesty temper (but at very good at hiding it!)
my house is practically bare
And, yes, i can add 'crafty' to the list as well, though quilts aren't really my thing
Perfectionism to the nth degree
highly defensive...oh yes!
huge explanations...oh yes!

Thank you so much for this site...i thought i was crazy for awhile!