Okay, I saw this the other day and began reading it. I am not going to nit pick this redoux and pick out the overuse of conjunctions this time. Instead, I will offer that I agree with Mad on the shave. I thought that your modifications were quite good and that they aided in the flow of your tale. Furthermore, the reduction of the "and"s was quite helpful to the tale and, with few exceptions, I have nothing to complain about. Besides, Mad hit you over the head with his limp cudgel already.

I recommend moving onward to something other than this tale - or this portion of the tale. We don't want it to sterilize it and make it as docile as Lews. Maybe you could give us another chapter or Mad could give you some new torture. Either way, this was a quality read and I am looking forward to finding an artery with your next offering.

Dean