jamb's 1st assignment

[H Dean]

Three things before I get to really ripping - my favorite past time - and then I will leave it to the Level Mistress. Ready? Good.

Paragraph spacing. I would really like to see that.

H-h-h-h-hold back on the stuttering with dialog. Tell us that there was a stutter - describe it and the emotion behind it. Don't s-s-s-stammer in your writing with each and every sentence - it's annoying and makes me want to lash out in an illegal manner.

Don't use terms like "guys" or colloquial terms in naration unless the narator is one of the characters in the story or someone who knows them. That also means that a narator doesn't constantly refer to a character as "Sir" without damned good reason. That kind of shit is for online jargon in chat rooms for A/all who want to look as idiotic as possible.

I suppose the Level Mistress will be along to sooth the wounds I have opened and open a few herself. Now, where is that wench?

[underwhere]

H Dean, it appears that she is having technical difficulties, at least thats what the sticky at the top of the level one threads seems to say. She'll be around, but not sure exactly when.

I want to ask you, though, about your comment with regard to stuttering. I used a bit of that technique myself in my last assignment, currently awaiting review. I'm not sure that saying there was a stutter is quite as effective as actually showing it. Somebody a long time ago told me, about writing in a completely different genre, that the general rule of thumb is "show, don't tell", and while I'm not sure that rules apply across different genres of writing (this was a play I was writing for a high school project at the time, and the advice was given by somebody who happened to be an actor), I think that writing in a stutter is closer to that rule rather than simply saying that there was a stutter. (I've also read that writing in a particular dialect or accent is also inadvisable, but there are some fine examples of this in historical literature, Grapes of Wrath chief among those I can think of right now.)

Certainly, I'm no authoring expert. If I were, I wouldn't be a level one student here. :-) So I guess what I want to ask is this: You seem to think that saying the character stuttered is better than the character doing so for the benefit of the reader. Is this a preference of yours, or do you think other established authors would agree with this point? Which do you think is stronger in a written work?

There is nothing wrong with a preference. I'm just trying to learn as much as I can to make myself a better writer in the process, and I always try to filter out advice based on preference from advice based on generally accepted principle. Rose mentioned in my last assignment, for example, her disdain for anything written in the first person perspective. I happen to like reading and writing from that perspective, but I clearly needed help on that last assignment to fix some serious errors with the way I handled it, and I definitely appreciated the help I received, especially from you with your suggestions for exactly what I could do with that mess. :-) It made a much better piece out of what was simply an okay piece beforehand.

[Dragon's muse]

I suppose the Level Mistress will be along to sooth the wounds I have opened and open a few herself. Now, where is that wench?

My most esteemed Mr. Dean Sir,

Give a wench a break. This demon that masquerades as a desktop computer had a bit of a nasty nervous breakdown, and doing reviews with a laptop keyboard is a touch of a pain. This story will have my full attention in the next day or so.

Kisses,
rose

[H Dean]

My most esteemed Mr. Dean Sir,

Give a wench a break. This demon that masquerades as a desktop computer had a bit of a nasty nervous breakdown, and doing reviews with a laptop keyboard is a touch of a pain. This story will have my full attention in the next day or so.

Kisses,
rose

Slacker!

[Dragon's muse]

Slacker!

Am not! i'm just spoiled!