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  1. #31
    TMiC
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    143
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    Mirage, a real Dom is a leader. Part of being a leader is born, part is made. The question is whether you are willing to wait and to put up with the multiple uncertainties that are part and parcel of him learning to lead, or whether you are not.

    Only you can answer that question, and coupled with the various portions of advice above (some of it excellent, as was pointed out), I wish you the best in coming to a brutally honest answer for yourself.

  2. #32
    Tom Straye's slave(harem)
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Washington State, USA
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    1,373
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    Quote Originally Posted by TomOfSweden View Post
    A good rule in the BDSM world is

    experienced + experienced = good
    experienced + inexperienced = good
    inexperienced + inexperienced = bad

    that's really good advice... the blind leading the blind isnt such a hot idea, no matter how tempting people might find it. it seems to end up in people hurting much too often....
    What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly ~ Richard Bach

  3. #33
    mirage03
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    eastern canada
    Posts
    17
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    Thank you all, and just to give you an update. we chated a bit for a few days, and like i said he got all dominant again mmmm. then made date for tonight. and today he told me to cancel. he was busy with his little one ( that is understandable) but also told me he spunked his ex. i got my answer. of course in my lust i was always hopping for him to be ready for somekind of a relationship, but i guess it doesent happen that way. ha. ha. Im just glad that i did get my answer that way than going thrue another big deception. i loved my experience as a sub and deap down i ll always know im a sub, but for a while i will play in vanilla fealds again. and never know i may just fall on a great dom.
    grrrr and he said hed use bondage tonight. gawd! i need to be tied up bad!! lololol

  4. #34
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    ......
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    14
    i hope you have better luck next time but dont give up there's plenty of good guys out there too, and if nothing else at least you will have learnt something from this time round
    dont rush in ,stay away from anyone who expects you to and try and read between the lines if some guy doesnt seem to know what he wants then that tells you all you need to know, least it does in my book.

  5. #35
    just not impressed
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    2,191
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    1
    Quote Originally Posted by TomOfSweden View Post
    A good rule in the BDSM world is

    experienced + experienced = good
    experienced + inexperienced = good
    inexperienced + inexperienced = bad

    I know not every person fits the mold. But most do.
    Quote Originally Posted by alpha_Straye View Post
    that's really good advice... the blind leading the blind isnt such a hot idea, no matter how tempting people might find it. it seems to end up in people hurting much too often....

    Yes it is excellent advice on Tom's part, but inexperienced is not always a bad thing.
    I don't view it as inexperience but a person who siezes an opportunity to thier advantage without worrying about the reprocussions of the other person who is not using the situation as such.
    Inexperience is what everyone starts out with, it is what you do with it that is important. A person who is serious learns and takes thier time and garners the help of others.

    For every one person you meet that is serious in learning, you will meet a hundred others who are not.
    It's just the way it is.

    And yeah I know I have been talking too much this weekend. I am just bored.

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