subdrop..lets be honest

[crazy_grrluk]

sub drop doesnt nes have to occur after sub-space... it can occur at any time. for example when your Dominant partner has to go away.

I can remember experiancing "sub-drop" after S1 went back to AU the 1st christmas he came to stay with us here in the UK. Was awful having to drop him off at Heathrow Airport so he could catch his flight home. I cried all the way back up the motorway and then bawled again as soon as I got to work.
The worst part was coming back home to an empty house and also going to bed alone. I felt betrayed, alone and not wanted.
Only after he landed back in Melbourne and contacted me was I ok.
I never want to have that feeling ever again.

cg

[~faerie~]

sub drop doesnt nes have to occur after sub-space... it can occur at any time. for example when your Dominant partner has to go away.

I can remember experiancing "sub-drop" after S1 went back to AU the 1st christmas he came to stay with us here in the UK. Was awful having to drop him off at Heathrow Airport so he could catch his flight home. I cried all the way back up the motorway and then bawled again as soon as I got to work.
The worst part was coming back home to an empty house and also going to bed alone. I felt betrayed, alone and not wanted.
Only after he landed back in Melbourne and contacted me was I ok.
I never want to have that feeling ever again.

cg

I know the first time i went to my Masters house it was the most wonderful, awesome, spectacular feeling/experience ever. When i got on the train to go home i cried most of the 6hr trip home. i was devastated. i thought for sure i would never see him again, or he had changed his mind about me, etc. it was emotionally exhausting to go from such a high to such a low. i was depressed and insecure for about a week. I questioned Him and i questioned myself. I was basically a mess. i hated the sleeping alone part as well. He was very understanding about the whole thing, we talked a great deal about how i was feeling. It was very comforting to have him explain things to me a little bit, as this was one of the first r/l play sessions with him. it's happened a few times, since then, but now i am more aware of why i feel this way and he is more aware that sometimes i need a little more care after. not sure if this is the answer you were looking for but this is just my experience.

[cadence]

While I am not disputing that what ShyGreenEyedGrl and crazy_grrluk have felt is sub drop.
But wouldn't those feelings be a natural occurence when having to be apart from your significant other?
I am curious to have someone explain it to me so I can understand that better.

I am somewhat confused about sub drop in general. I do get those low feelings maybe two or three days later.
I have been told that sub drop is not possible in an online environment so I chalk up those feelings to being ill prepared to maintain a proper mindset.

I love humiliation, but I also have a hard time grasping the notion that it isn't bad to be treated badly.
Seeing that to me humiliation is a big rush, and I enjoy it immensely, I would have to assume that my low points are my insecurites coming through.
I try to combat the negative through exercise, practicing music, eating right, and getting enough sleep. Not that I am successful at doing those things all of the time.

So I can't distinguish whether or not I am feeling sub drop or just some conflict within myself.

[ghostgirl]

While I am not disputing that what ShyGreenEyedGrl and crazy_grrluk have felt is sub drop.
But wouldn't those feelings be a natural occurence when having to be apart from your significant other?
I am curious to have someone explain it to me so I can understand that better.

I am somewhat confused about sub drop in general. I do get those low feelings maybe two or three days later.
I have been told that sub drop is not possible in an online environment so I chalk up those feelings to being ill prepared to maintain a proper mindset.

I love humiliation, but I also have a hard time grasping the notion that it isn't bad to be treated badly.
Seeing that to me humiliation is a big rush, and I enjoy it immensely, I would have to assume that my low points are my insecurites coming through.
I try to combat the negative through exercise, practicing music, eating right, and getting enough sleep. Not that I am successful at doing those things all of the time.

So I can't distinguish whether or not I am feeling sub drop or just some conflict within myself.

Technically (and traditionally) speaking, subdrop refers specifically to a response that occurs at the end of, or immediately after, a scene.

If you wanna get really technical and specific: BDSM practices cause endorphin, oxytocin, and dopamine release in the body, which is why some of the most awful things can feel amazingly good. Those chemicals produce a rush or high.

They can be very addictive.

Unfortunately, prolactin and cortisol levels can also be significantly elevated, along with low blood glucose and dehydration after a physical scene, which can make you feel like crap.

It takes much longer for hormone levels to balance once they're dancing around in your bloodstream, which is why a few minutes of cuddling afterward isn't really going to take care of it (although it does promote continued oxytocin release).

i've heard the arguments that subdrop isn't possible online, or isn't possible outside of the context of heavy pain scening, but frankly, i don't buy it. If online play, or merely being in the presence of your Master, can cause those happy chemicals to flow for you, then you face the possibility of subdrop.


At the more emotional end of things, you're likely to be wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed for a week. After a good sleep it's a better idea to make contact with friends, even by phone or...um...internet :). Meditation and self-hypnosis can be good proactive ways to support yourself, as can journaling.

It seems natural that this sort of play would bring up fears and insecurities. You deserve a compassionate listener to share them with, whether that's your Dom, a playmate, or a friend. Just remember: nothing is "wrong," and you're not alone.

[crazy_grrluk]

While I am not disputing that what ShyGreenEyedGrl and crazy_grrluk have felt is sub drop.
But wouldn't those feelings be a natural occurence when having to be apart from your significant other?
I am curious to have someone explain it to me so I can understand that better.

Not really no.

I didnt experiance the feelings after Master left this year. This year I just dropped him off at Heathrow drove home a lot chirpier than i was the year before. was stll weird coming home to an empty house and going to bed alone but i didnt have thaat feeling of detatchment this time

cg

[icey]

im with ghostgirl on this one and believe its the technical/chemical reaction of course everyone is different and i dont want to step out of line and offend you cazy_grrl but if it had been me i would have put it down to feeling upset and low because he'd had to go away and maybe next time around it wasnt quite so bad because i was more used to the idea of it,but thats just my take on it.

i remember a girl once saing to me that everytime her Master was out of her sight she was in subspace trying to see him and went into great detail of how she felt high, deamy etc.....personally i thought she was on another planet but there ya go lol
the mind plays wonderful tricks and that i think does play a part in subspace/drop too, although with that particular girl i dont think there was a mind to play tricks in the first place.

online play is something that ive never done other than a few little games when we wernt together so i cant say its something ive ever experienced and i dont think it would work for me i like the one on one more intense type of play by that i mean edgier, for want of a better word more pain etc and unless its with rope i just dont get spacey from any other kind but people say it works for them and im not going to knock it.

im glad to see that you are all able to admit to it its very rare that people do,mostly out of misplaced shame or a feeling of failure i suspect and people do need to be aware it can happen both sub and Dom/me because its a hell of a shock as it is and even more confusing when you havnt a clue as to what or why it happened.