How do you approach the hard questions????

[cookiecat]

<snip> It wasn't hard to ask, cookie. And I got the answer I expected - excuses and avoidance. <snip>

It was sort of rhetorical. You were the only person to ask it directly. And I agree with you, it will probably happen again.

Here are a few examples of my hard questions......

Have you ever been in a scene where things have gone to far or gotten out of control?

Have you ever hit someone in anger?....and if so....what did you do and how was the situation handled afterwards?

Have you ever raped anyone?.......and if you did....were you convicted.....and if you weren't convicted...why not??

Have you ever been convicted of anything?

Do you have anger issues?

Do you have a current STD test??

.......so all standard hard questions....

How do you approach a questions like this.....

would you like to talk about the other girl i'm not supposed to know about.....the one you are sending the exact same emails to as you were sending me?? The girl you seemed to have failed to mention me to either??

i am still dying to ask someone else that question ( not the person im meeting next month)....but just cant bring myself to ask it.

How do you get to that one???...Do you stay silent......or do you ask??

Are the questions we ask our vanilla friends any different from our D/s friends? And by friends, sure - I mean potential dates. I totally understand the different elements of each relationship. The likelihood of me being tied up, left in a more vulnerable spot so to speak wasn't as great in my vanilla dating days...

I guess my expectation - prior to any sexual involvement... or possibly no sex but a particular scene - is that I've takent the time to get to know someone. We've built up some level of trust and through the course of getting to know each other, we've asked the important - and the tough - questions.

Thrall, some of your questions are pretty direct. If someone's been convicted of something - you don't even have to ask - I believe you can find out through public records.

Again, I go back to the process of getting to know each other. Actions speak louder than words and the way he talks to you about his past, the way he treats others when you're out, the way he treats you... all of these are just part of the clues to help make your decision. How often have I overlooked a red flag just because I wanted to keep the relationship intact? I always trust my "gut" instinct now.

And - in the end - always ask. It's an excellent way to start the relationship. If he balks at your questions or dodges your answers - you will have your answer immediately.