It seems everyone agrees that, hard or not, there are some questions that should be asked. The difficult part is not deciding it should be done, but actually sitting in front of the person and making the words come out of your mouth.

Being dyslexic, when I get nervous or upset my words come out ALL mixed up. I have explained this to J, and when I have something difficult or important to say sometimes I have to go write it down. We laugh and say that during deep discussions we should go across the house and IM from separate rooms. Though we laugh, really though, we're only halfway kidding - I am far more articulate with my thoughts in written format, at least to start an awkwark or uncomfortable conversation. So perhapes the question is not whether or not to ask, but what is the most comfortable way to ask these hard questions?