frustration

[icey]

i think the majority of subs here admit to having feisty tempers at times.

being honest with yourself,do you ever think its frustration not just at normal every day life but actually D/s related? and if so and we know we get frustrated sometimes then what the hell are we doing in D/s r/ships?

i for one know for a fact that occasionally mine is, i see it this way ...it doesnt matter how submissive you are how much pleasure you get from your submission and the control excersised over you there are days when you feel like ripping your hair out and yelling...aaargh why me???

for eg, one day Icehawk needed to pop out to collect something and told me to get in the car,i just didnt fancy a drive but he insisted,while i was in the car i was a bit fed up and sulky and thinking to myself i dont want to why should i,im a grown up i should be able to do what i want,this is pissing me off cant he see im angry with him and he should just let me stay home,others dont have to do this etc ...and of course in reality thats true but i chose otherwise so then i got to thinking if i dont like it then why am i doing it,why did i choose it?

but then that in itsself got me thinking..why would i be here in this position not liking it why am i here asking myself this question if deep down i didnt like it? and cant imagine or want our r/ship any other way,then why am i angry? why am i frustrated?.....kind of like which came first the chicken or the egg type thoughts.

am i the only weird one here? am i just rambling nonsense lol or do you have the odd occasion and get frustrated like that lol...

[Isabella King]

I don’t suppose frustration is unique to a D/s relationship. For both parties to remain happy it has to be about give and take – if one partner enjoys giving and the other taking all the time, then that could work but for most of us, I think we end up doing something we’d rather not from time to time, simply because we love them.

It’s at times like this that I try to remind myself exactly what I’ve got. Ok, I’m pissed off because he’s made me do something I didn’t want to do but where would I find another man who can work me quite as well as he can? Do I really want a man I can say ‘I’m not doing that,’ to? And in the end I have to admit that I love the pants off the sadistic bastard

[Warbaby1943]

i think the majority of subs here admit to having feisty tempers at times.

being honest with yourself,do you ever think its frustration not just at normal every day life but actually D/s related? and if so and we know we get frustrated sometimes then what the hell are we doing in D/s r/ships?

i for one know for a fact that occasionally mine is, i see it this way ...it doesnt matter how submissive you are how much pleasure you get from your submission and the control excersised over you there are days when you feel like ripping your hair out and yelling...aaargh why me???

for eg, one day Icehawk needed to pop out to collect something and told me to get in the car,i just didnt fancy a drive but he insisted,while i was in the car i was a bit fed up and sulky and thinking to myself i dont want to why should i,im a grown up i should be able to do what i want,this is pissing me off cant he see im angry with him and he should just let me stay home,others dont have to do this etc ...and of course in reality thats true but i chose otherwise so then i got to thinking if i dont like it then why am i doing it,why did i choose it?

but then that in itsself got me thinking..why would i be here in this position not liking it why am i here asking myself this question if deep down i didnt like it? and cant imagine or want our r/ship any other way,then why am i angry? why am i frustrated?.....kind of like which came first the chicken or the egg type thoughts.

am i the only weird one here? am i just rambling nonsense lol or do you have the odd occasion and get frustrated like that lol...

I don't think you are weird at all. I think you are human and have your bad days as we all do. The trick, as you are well aware of I'm sure, is to not let those bad days cause you to make decisions you will eventually regret.

Maybe just grin and bear it so IH can get another nice picture for us. Sorry I had to throw that in remembering how lovely your pictures were that we can no longer see. LOL

[~faerie~]

No you are not weird. i get the same way. There are definitely times when i want to scream out my frustration at Him and and at life. When He and i are talking about something and i'm not really into the topic, i get so annoyed because He completely ignores the fact that i don't care and i still have to listen.( i usually end up seeing His point anyway, which gives me another reason to be frustated. I just can't win...grrrrr) And there are times when we are talking on the phone and i make obnoxious faces,(which thank god He can never see) because something He said irritated me.

No matter how frustrated and annoyed i get, when i think about not being with Him i start to feel a little bit lost. He is my world. He is the only one that bothered to pick me up out of the dark hole i was in and fix me up. He helped me rediscover myself and for the first time in years i saw that i was something to be valued. I would gladly take on all the frustration in the world for the love that he shows me.

Of course i am sure at times i try His patience as well *smiles*

[icey]

^ me too lol
but the frustration i get in relation to the D/s aspect of our life is very different to the frustration i get with everyday ups and downs, sort of stronger and i react very differently it also tends to wear off much quicker too.

[~faerie~]

^ me too lol
but the frustration i get in relation to the D/s aspect of our life is very different to the frustration i get with everyday ups and downs, sort of stronger and i react very differently it also tends to wear off much quicker too.

I can see that. It is very different and it does go away quicker...but i cant necessarily say it is stronger, just a different flavor. lol

[stripedangel]

i think the majority of subs here admit to having feisty tempers at times.

being honest with yourself,do you ever think its frustration not just at normal every day life but actually D/s related? and if so and we know we get frustrated sometimes then what the hell are we doing in D/s r/ships?

i for one know for a fact that occasionally mine is, i see it this way ...it doesnt matter how submissive you are how much pleasure you get from your submission and the control excersised over you there are days when you feel like ripping your hair out and yelling...aaargh why me???

for eg, one day Icehawk needed to pop out to collect something and told me to get in the car,i just didnt fancy a drive but he insisted,while i was in the car i was a bit fed up and sulky and thinking to myself i dont want to why should i,im a grown up i should be able to do what i want,this is pissing me off cant he see im angry with him and he should just let me stay home,others dont have to do this etc ...and of course in reality thats true but i chose otherwise so then i got to thinking if i dont like it then why am i doing it,why did i choose it?

but then that in itsself got me thinking..why would i be here in this position not liking it why am i here asking myself this question if deep down i didnt like it? and cant imagine or want our r/ship any other way,then why am i angry? why am i frustrated?.....kind of like which came first the chicken or the egg type thoughts.

am i the only weird one here? am i just rambling nonsense lol or do you have the odd occasion and get frustrated like that lol...

Whoa! i thought i was the only one feeling that way...but i'm kinda new at the whole "being told what to do" idea.

My question is this: How long have you felt this way? Or is it a bit here and there?

The reason i ask is that if you get this way every now and again, i would think it to be a normal, give/take kinda thing. Like when you get frustrated over the little things every once in a while.

If you're feeling this way daily, and it's not the little things that get you, but the bigger ones...well, i would think that you need to stop and figger (texas word) out if this is what you want.

From your post, it would seem that your issue is the first one. When i find myself being made to do the simple things in aggravation, i take a breath, and remember what life was like before my M/s relationship. i'm much happier now than i was then.

[~faerie~]

^^^
i don't know if your comment was directed at me. So if i answer out of turn i apologize.
my Master and i have the greatest respect for eachother. I chose to kneel and i chose to beg him to be my Master, he chose to accept me. He has shown me that i am something very special. After being in an abusive relationship for several years i was trying so very hard to crawl out of the dark and there He was with a hand to guide me in to the light. I was a doormat once, but never again. He and i are a team, he leads and i follow willingly. Both in life and in this wonderful world of bdsm. Any frustration that we have is just as in any realtionship, like i stated, just a different flavor.

[icey]

im definately not a doormat anymore lol and Icehawk wouldnt want me to be,in fact he taught me not to be, as hygreeneyedgrl says we're a team both as important as the other, if anything Icehawk alway puts me first.

its only the rare occasions, i get frustrated at the silly little things thats all and then i blow it up out of proportion, for eg if we're say watching a movie and Icehawk pauses it to ask for a coffee i'll sometimes grumble and sulk and then stomp and clatter in the kitchen banging the cups around like a hormonal teenager.

its more like im rebelling or something lol

[fetishdj]

I agree with ProDom on this one... you are not doormats and most dominants in fact would prefer not to have one. Most already do have doormats - they put them near their doors with welcome written on them and wipe thier feet on them. They don't do the sort of things to their doormat that they do with their subs or slaves

I have heard many dominants talk about how they like the challenge, they like a sub to be a human being who can challenge them in some way. Pushing a sub's limits in terms of how far you can control them before they start to get frustrated with it is a challenge.

BDSM relationships of this sort are still relationships and relationships do depend on compromise. Ok, there is more compromise by the sub in many cases because that is how a TPE relationship works but the Dom still sometimes needs to flex a little for the good of their sub. If there is something that a sub doesn't like doing, they need to talk about it with thier Dom. The Dom may be generous and let you off with it and never ask you to do it again. On the other hand they may try to push you further by applying punishment. Either way, you will face the challenge. A Dom is responsible for the welfare of the sub and that involves making sure their needs are also met.

[~faerie~]

its more like im rebelling or something lol

lol...i definitely do that on occasion. Sometimes you just can't help it.

[Thrasher]

I believe that as a dom, the harder job is conquering your own vulnerabilities. Controlling a sub isn't hard compared to how hard it is when you realize "shit, I should have let her watch Dancing with the Stars....What is wrong with me?" (lol) You know? Power corrupts, and the need for power...well that's another story.

[Ownedfyre (mm1)]

Dancing with the Stars??? YUCK!!!! LMAO

[gemmy]

I've been watching this thread go along but haven't responded - mostly because I don't have a Master and no experience r/t having one so can't truly express an opinion.

I liken your reactions maybe though icey hun, to the fact that you are a very strong woman and although you Need to be submissive, the strong woman in you rebels against yourself. I think it's also where some subs find themselves "Topping from the bottom" a little - I'll do this, but today don't want to do that, why should I? He never has to do these things.....and on. I think it's just a person's natural reaction some days.

The strong woman in you (nor Icehawk) would allow another soul to do the things to do you, treat you that way ever so although you are being pissy with Icehawk, it may not entirely be that you don't deeply love him or what he does to you, just that the part of you that is strong doesn't always want to?

Just some thoughts, xo

[icey]

im not strong just bad tempered somedays lol
i think it is partly as you said (least i think you did!) because im more relaxed and confident with Icehawk than ive ever been with anyone else so im able to blow off steam a bit

i also as ive mentioned before have a personality disorder which does make me more emotional ...anger wise...at times, so i do tend to blow up more easily.and at times it can rear up its ugly head and be more predominant, though im not too sure that thats a part of it really.

and yep childish though it is i do have times when i think WTF he doesnt do that why should i, and dont want to do something but thats when i get really frustrated and start thinking why me lol

ive been known to stamp my feet from time to time too *shhh*