I've been watching this thread go along but haven't responded - mostly because I don't have a Master and no experience r/t having one so can't truly express an opinion.

I liken your reactions maybe though icey hun, to the fact that you are a very strong woman and although you Need to be submissive, the strong woman in you rebels against yourself. I think it's also where some subs find themselves "Topping from the bottom" a little - I'll do this, but today don't want to do that, why should I? He never has to do these things.....and on. I think it's just a person's natural reaction some days.

The strong woman in you (nor Icehawk) would allow another soul to do the things to do you, treat you that way ever so although you are being pissy with Icehawk, it may not entirely be that you don't deeply love him or what he does to you, just that the part of you that is strong doesn't always want to?

Just some thoughts, xo