Dominance in Life vs. Dominance in Relationships

[_ID_]

Being insecure in a situation you are unfamiliar in doesn't make you less of a Dominant.

Consider a new job, would you be confident in yourself and the situation, or would you take the getting acquainted with the situation phase with a bit of insecurity on how to proceed? Now about the guy backing off being her Dom because he felt insecure around the parents seems peculiar to me. I wouldn't say he isn't dominant, but I would want to meet this person and make my own assessment, rather than a 'bobby's sister's boyfriend's cousin' told me blah blah assumption.

I do consider myself dominant, and I do have insecurities. Everyone does. Everyone has a phobia, everyone works on or worries about their own self confidence.

[Tojo]

Something I missed on my previous post is that I'm sure not confident & in control in every situation- I can't believe anyone is.

Good posts Tom & ID!

[stripedangel]

i'm afraid that some of you think that this thread is a continuance of the other thread.

The response that was quoted was one that had raised these questons. The "meeting of the parents" part is just an example...no one is asking anyone to comment on the other thread, Hisand HisOnly's situation, her boyfriend, or even the one who posted the response. The posts from that thread were only posted here to give a bit of history, explaining why/how Mr.FixIt ended up posting this thread.

Mr.FixIt has already stated that We are new to this lifestyle...i researched the lifestyle extensively (started out as a "dirty story" project). He's still trying to understand the dynamics of the BDSM lifestyle. Since He was raised in a preacher's house, there are many concepts about our culture that are foreign to Him...such as women being Dommes, or Dom/mes/Tops owning or having control over multiple subbies/slaves.

I can understand being uncomfortable around parents...Master's father makes me incredibly uncomfortable. When i met him, he looked at me like i was some urchin who came along just for him to condescend...but, for my man, i managed to get through it.

Master's father is the type who has nothing good to say about his oldest son (Mr.FixIt). He was never concerned about anything other than his family attending church. He quoted the Bible every time he told his wife, "YOU WILL SUBMIT!" His wife was attending nursing school and holding down a night job, couldn't attend church on Sunday because she had worked all night. He told her what a bad Christian she was for it. Every Sunday morning, there was a fight for the 6 people who lived in that house getting ready to go worship...and then, they would pull the car into the parking lot at the church, put on their fake smiles and pretend to be the "preacher's happy family." When Master's dad was hired to preach at a church in a nearby town, We were there (driving 36 miles every Sunday and Wednesday) to help him, because the church was dwindling in attendance. After nearly a year of Master doing all He could to help with His dad's project, Dad accused Master of trying to take over his church.

THIS is an uncomfortable situation...it's been uncomfortable for me for 12 years. Yet, i manage to handle being around this fool when it's necessary. i myself have been accused of cheating on my Husband and called a Jezebel (and you KNOW what that means) by this very man. He's told me more than once that he's praying for me (jeeeez, that's what they say when they disapprove of what you're doing...it's how they tell you that they're trying to keep you from going to Hell).

He is not around much now, thank goodness, due to the fact that Mom got tired of his crap and divorced him.

I tell you all this story to make this point...

Any person should be able to handle situations such as this, if for no other reason than for their significant other. Being uncomfortable in this situation is normal...what, do we just skip out on everything that makes us uneasy? I'd been warned about Master's father...and was very afraid to meet him, but i managed to deal with it for my Husband.

As a side note:
Tom, i guarantee, as a Christian, that you would not be uncomfortable around Master and me for more than 30 seconds. You might even think we're cool! Not all Christians are like that. Please don't place all Christians in the group with the man mentioned above...we're not all that way. We would never pray for you unless you ask for it. We would never, ever do anything to make you feel judged, or treat you as inferior because of your beliefs. Jesus Himself was a friend to many non-Christians. Some people think that because they read the Bible, been baptised, and attend church, they're an authority on everyone else's salvation...and that salvation is what EVERYONE ELSE MUST be wanting (even though they don't realize it yet), mostly because of the skeletons in their own closets. Master's father and my brother (don't even get me started!) are two examples of this. These people give the rest of us a bad name, just like BDSM has a bad rep because of irresponsible idiots and those sick bastards who use it to harm/kill others.

i would think that someone living the BDSM lifestyle would be able to understand what it's like to be judged by others in this manner..........................

[Mr.FixIt]

Master's father is the type who has nothing good to say about his oldest son (Mr.FixIt). He was never concerned about anything other than his family attending church. He quoted the Bible every time he told his wife, "YOU WILL SUBMIT!" His wife was attending nursing school and holding down a night job, couldn't attend church on Sunday because she had worked all night. He told her what a bad Christian she was for it. Every Sunday morning, there was a fight for the 6 people who lived in that house getting ready to go worship...and then, they would pull the car into the parking lot at the church, put on their fake smiles and pretend to be the "preacher's happy family." When Master's dad was hired to preach at a church in a nearby town, We were there (driving 36 miles every Sunday and Wednesday) to help him, because the church was dwindling in attendance. After nearly a year of Master doing all He could to help with His dad's project, Dad accused Master of trying to take over his church.

THIS is an uncomfortable situation...it's been uncomfortable for me for 12 years. Yet, i manage to handle being around this fool when it's necessary. i myself have been accused of cheating on my Husband and called a Jezebel (and you KNOW what that means) by this very man. He's told me more than once that he's praying for me (jeeeez, that's what they say when they disapprove of what you're doing...it's how they tell you that they're trying to keep you from going to Hell).

OMG! You all know a lot about me now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ain't skeeeeered! But stripey's pushin'!

[Mr.FixIt]

Being insecure in a situation you are unfamiliar in doesn't make you less of a Dominant.

Consider a new job, would you be confident in yourself and the situation, or would you take the getting acquainted with the situation phase with a bit of insecurity on how to proceed? Now about the guy backing off being her Dom because he felt insecure around the parents seems peculiar to me. I wouldn't say he isn't dominant, but I would want to meet this person and make my own assessment, rather than a 'bobby's sister's boyfriend's cousin' told me blah blah assumption.

I do consider myself dominant, and I do have insecurities. Everyone does. Everyone has a phobia, everyone works on or worries about their own self confidence.

Yes, I also have insecurities and did not mean to insinuate that I did not. I am insecure about mice and lizards! Show me one and I will leave the fucking room!