Disabilities and BDSM

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I'm glad that you started this thread, Gr1m'sGirl. I have several chronic illnesses that I have to live with that do affect my life with Master. I had two chronic illnesses before I met Him (two more have since developed), so He never knew me when I was completely healthy. He grew up with a mother who is chronically ill, so He knows what it is like and how to care for someone like that.

I also suffer from PTSD from an earlier marriage where I was physically, mentally and emotionally abused, in which my ex tried to murder me in the end. I still have nightmares about him. And I will say stuff to Master about him and Master will gently remind me that He is not my ex. So after being with Master almost 10 years I still have to deal with my past. But because of Him I am a lot better now.

As for my chronic illnesses, one of them (diverticulitis) is under control, so as long as I eat lots of fiber, it doesn't bother me. My IBS can be a major pain. When it acts up it makes me feel so miserable that W/we can't have sex and a lot of times I don't feel like doing much of anything when the symptoms hit. It also prevents U/us from having anal sex, since that would just make things worse for me. So anal sex is a hard limit for me.

I've had fibromylagia for the past 12 years. W/we have since learned how to work around it. During play I will have to shift positions a lot. I can't remain kneeling for long periods. I have to shift positions a lot during blow jobs. If He wants doggy style W/we have to layer pillows underneath me so that I am not directly on my hands and knees.

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in March. This is the illness that has really taken its toll on U/us. I'm exhausted all the time. My energy is gone. My libido is shot. I have to use lubricants, and I have never had to use them before. I have to really push myself to have sex with Master. It's like I don't want to be bothered with it anymore. It's amazing how much your hormone levels affect you. Fortunately, Master knows what the problem is and that it has nothing to with Him or O/our relationship. I have another doctor's appointment at the end of the month. Master is going with me, so W/we'll make sure W/we talk to the doctor about my lack of libido. Probably all that needs to be done is that my thyroid replacement needs to have its dosage changed. All my other illnesses I have learned to live with. I have never been on medication for IBS and I haven't been on any meds for my fibro in seven years. But this hypothyroidism is throwing me for a loop and I need to get it under control.

[icey]

thats terrible! im sorry you had such a s**t time of it sisterhoney,thank god you're out of it!

good thread Gr1m'sGirl,

yes i have a mental health problem, Borderline Personality Disorder which can cause problems at times, luckily its the kind of disorder where if im a bit 'unstable' then considering playing just doesnt come into it at all, at those times the oft used term 'im not in the mood' is very literal in my case lol

i also have other co-morbid disorders alongside it, depression, im not depressed currently although i have had a few bad times and been suicidal but again under those circumstances playing isnt an issue.
i have anorexia, which is pretty much under control although im struggling a little bit right now but im eating and my weights ok ...that can also cause problems because then im not fit pyshically i get tired, weak,dizzy, dehydrated etc.

i have panic attacks although those are under control but that is something to really watch out for, its never happened to me but i would imagine having an attack whilst in bondage could be pretty risky for both Dom/me and sub!
(ive also been told i have ptsd but i dont really feel it applys to me and i have my own opinions about that anyway)

im a 'selfharmer' (again under control right now) which causes problems in two areas firstly there's the aspect that Icehawk doesnt want me to hurt myself, he doesnt want me to have messy scars and such and as my Dom in an ideal world he just wants to be able to not allow me to do it, but we both had to learn thats just not possible no matter how much you care about someone you cant stop them unless it becomes life threatening
then there's also the play side of it, it isnt generally a good idea to 'hurt' someone who's in that frame of mind as someone once wisely posted elsewhere it would be like giving champagne to an alcoholic just because its xmas.

but at certain times it can actually work the other way, if for eg im starting to feel the need and its nipped early in the bud so to speak then playing can be very good for me because it gives me a healthy way of releasing that pressure and a natural 'high'
we both know how and when to judge it and we discuss it in detail and what we will and wont do, for eg cutting, at those times is a no-no and if after discussions Icehawk int 100% happy about it then we wont do it.

there are many dangers regarding any health problems and bdsm but there are also many positive aspects to it too and providing you're rational,responsible,comfortable and are fully aware of what you are doing and why you are doing it and that you're totally honest with your partner if you carefully moniter situations and take into account any meds you may be taking and the side effects then it should be ok, only you can know that and judge for yourself.

i dont know about your disorder obviously but from what i do know of it (i have a friend with the same) im sure like me you're aware of when you're having a 'low' or not, and when it comes right down to it if at the times that you're not 'well' then bdsm isnt the be all and end all ...your health is ....and it can if neccassary be put to one side until you're feeling better.

all this may sound very drastic to people who have no experience with any thing like this and some may even feel that people like me shouldnt be involved in any way with bdsm but all i can say is that i know me and what works and doesnt work for me and im not that stupid that i would put myself at risk in anyway (no more than anyone else involved in bdm is)...Icehawk wouldnt let me and the structure,the rules,discipline and some of the 'rituals' of our life actually helps keep me that bit more balanced.
and through many of the things we've done and discussed ive learnt a lot of things about myself, some good some very bad lol but it's things ive needed to learn.

i hope you find what works for you Gr1m'sGirl

[Gr1m'sGirl]

...Icehawk wouldnt let me and the structure,the rules,discipline and some of the 'rituals' of our life actually helps keep me that bit more balanced.
and through many of the things we've done and discussed ive learnt a lot of things about myself, some good some very bad lol but it's things ive needed to learn.

i hope you find what works for you Gr1m'sGirl

I agree with you completely. When it seems like everything else is falling apart, it always helps to have something solid and stable to fall back on. The rituals are wonderful in this case.

And thank you very much, I hope it all works out too..