Seems to me it's something for the individual to decide the 'how far to go' question- the answers can vary from time to time, depending on where you're at & how um.... excited you are in the moment

As for the shame, well you'd have to be pretty good to look past all the voices saying 'It's wrong' 'Sex is dirty' etc etc.

How many of us were caught masturbating by Mum or Dad & had them say 'Sorry to disturb you, I'll knock next time?'

I'll bet if I'd told my parents my fantasies about tying my PE teacher to the hockey goal posts they'd have been less than encouraging....