In response to nighttimestar..

I actually wrote my Master a letter one night after we had played over the phone.

It was only a few weeks into our relationship and we were still in the process of me learning to be more open. I am an extremely shy person in r/l. I don't like to talk about myself...ever. Things were getting more and more intense and it was weighing on my mind. He could tell that i had something i wanted to discuss. but i just couldn't say it. I was frustrated, he was wondering what the hell was wrong with me, and i didn't have a clue how to say it. I was scared that if i told him it would change things. I had a lot of doubts about my value as a person, i saw my issues as a way that lessened who i was. I was terrified to be rejected. It's hard enough to learn to trust, but then to go beyond that and say btw i'm bipolar with anxiety disorder and panic attacks, etc. do you still want to play?! I finally just poured my heart out in a email, a really long one. I cried the whole time i was writing it, and when i sent it i was sure that he was going to wash his hands of me. He called me later that night, i think it was around 3 or 4 in the morning. We talked for a while. He was more upset over the fact that i thought it made me less, than anything else. He berated me for not just telling him while we had been on the phone earlier that day but commended me on the fact that i did take that step and open up. I was so glad that i did. It was like i could breathe a little easier. He wanted to know all of my signs, symptoms and triggers. He also wanted to know what exactly i was taking and what each one did. We talked about what his expectations were of me to keep on top of it and how he could help. We discussed how to handle small problems and what to do if i freaked out.

I can't stress enough how important it is to have complete trust and honesty. No matter what yout issues mentally or physically are, your partner needs to know. How can your play be safe or sane otherwise?