That first meeting

[thrall]

Once in a while I’m reminded that forums such as this serve the purpose of informing new people, and not just for a select few to preen their egos and flirt.

That’s the reason I come to places such as this- to counter the nonsense talked on some sites about how a sub ‘should’ and shouldn’t act, and that there’s a secret book of rules mouldering in a cave somewhere in Turkey.

Some would have us believe that unless we’ve done an apprenticeship with an approved school, we’re just playing at D/s and not real Doms or subs.

With that in mind, I’d like to ask for people’s experiences in meeting for the first time.

Have you taken an online relationship to the next step- of meeting in person? How did it go? What are the do’s and don’ts of that first meet? How long did you chat or whatever before you met? Did you have a clear understanding of what would take place- & what wouldn't?

I’d like to point out that few people will post their negative experiences. Many either disappear, or just decide it’s too painful to remember- I’ve had more chats and emails from disappointed subs than I’d care to remember and know I’m not alone.

Yes i have taken the step into real life, on several levels. Some just as friends and one as D/s.

On the purely friendship level the meets were easy and casual.......and loads of fun! You could say that we did have "do's and "dont's" with clear understandings of "what would and wouldn't happen" We all knew that our meets were just as friends and not "play dates"......so it was pure fun.

Meeting people for the pure pleasure of meeting a friend is very different than someone you are planning to play with.

I am very cautious and i like to have real conversations to get to know someone. Conversations about the everyday and the mundane, conversations about what you think and what you feel. I like to get to know someone enough to feel just how genuine they are.....Does the "story" change? Are they consistent in actions.....does 1+1...=2

We started out in PM's moved to email then to IM......then to the phone. We have been talking for almost a year now. I move slowly....i do not "jump"

I have requirements to play.....if you have nothing to hide then you should have nothing to fear from my "requirements"......simple, easy, and open.

Yes we both had a very clear understanding of what would take place........lol

Lunch and a nice chat.

Anything else......depended on if it felt right..........*weg*