I started a new post because this is a different subject.

Some people on this thread are wondering why, if they suffered abuse that they end up in a relationship where they let someone tie them up, spank them etc. A while back I was doing some reading (which I love to do) and ran across an article on the question of why some women have rape fantasies etc. It took me a while to digest the answer, because at first I rejected it outright.

It's not really about wanting to be beaten and raped. It is about wanting sex with no responsibilities, sex with no expectation of having to reciprocate, being able to scream and let your emotions run away. And it can also be a counter to the old "good girls don't do things like that (oral sex?).

Maybe here it is the same thing. Maybe we're looking for someone to "force" us to have a good time. So when someones asks, "Why did you let him/her do that to you?" You can answer, "Well I didn't have much choice now did I? I was all tied up with my butt in the air and a gag in my mouth!"

And make no mistake guys sometimes deal with the "good boy" stuff from childhood too. When we find someone we are comfortable with we can let them "force" us to do lots of nasty(fun) things that only bad(good) little sluts(girls and boys) do. It's just a thought. (OMG a subject for a new thread)

And abuse doesn't cause submissive or dominant feelings. It does affect how you react to the tendencies. I remember having some of these feelings before my abuse. Now, I find it really hard to completely submit to someone. And at the same time makes me very aware that in a Dom position I could hurt someone. Ultimately when I do submit it has to be with someone I totally trust (wifee ). And if I top I have to be very sensitive to what my sub feels and how I am acting. I hope just it makes me a better player in either situation.