Quote Originally Posted by jennyfer
Dear Mr Ed Master,

Please consider my application to become a student of your fine establishment.
I am nineteen years old and so may be one of your younger pupils, however I am confident I will be able to meet the stringent demands you place on all your students. Since completing my education in an oppressive and highly outdated girl’s school almost a year ago, I have missed the unnecessarily strict discipline, bizarre rules and worryingly sexualised uniform. After much research, I am confident that your Academy will fill these gaps in my life.

My recent first hand experience of the A-level system will give me a slight advantage over some of the other pupils, however I assure you I will compensate for this by making absolutely no effort in order to be fair on the other girls.

I am very interested in your somewhat unconventional curriculum and look forward to using classes such as bondage and physical education to show off how “flexible” I am. I can make no promises about my general behaviour, however give me a prefect badge and I shall appropriately terrorise the other students.

I have many skills including cooking and looking damn cute, and will be more than willing to use these within your academy, especially if they will get me out of trouble and guarantee good grades. I can also juggle, which comes in handy more often than you might think.

Unfortunately due to a rare allergy to certain types of paper I will not be able to take part in general studies classes. Past experience has shown me that these classes will cause a negative reaction which will demonstrate itself in destructive behaviour, and result in me drawing totally unnecessary pictures of penises. I’m sure you will understand the devastating effect of this illness and excuse me from this subject.

I wait in eager anticipation of your acceptance. In order to help your decision, please find enclosed a photograph of me in ‘school uniform’ to demonstrate how well I will fit in.
Yours sincerely,
Jennyfer
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