Slothlands Academy

[Uncle_Ed]

Dear fellow Perves,

The following on-going story is a collaberation between yours truly; cariad; jennyfer;seababy and suchaminx.

I shall endeavour to keep these budding authors in line, but as you can see from the Academy roll I have my work cut out for me!

I hope we all enjoy ourselves!





Slothlands Academy
The Old School House
Birchingem

Prospectus 2006.

Dear Prospective parent or guardian.

I, Edmund Master, would like to warmly welcome you and your daughter to my little Academy.

Slothlands has recently opened its doors following an introduction by the Campaign for the Advancement of Regional Independent Academies of Domination studies (CARIAD).

You will see from the photographs that the Academy is housed in a delightful old school house that has been modernised yet still retains many of the original features from the 1900’s when it was first built.

Slothlands is conveniently situated only two miles from the town of Birchingem, a pleasant walk for our students to take when they run out of life’s essentials. Birchingem has numerous public houses as well as no less than four off-licences! I am positive that parents will encourage their daughters to learn about such establishments in preparation for life in the big world. Parents will also note that this Headmaster’s favourite tipple is JD. Extra points are of course awarded for your daughter’s dedication to out-of-school activities.

The main Academy building can be seen to house the three classrooms and main hall downstairs with the first-class dormitory on the first floor. Your daughter will lack for nothing at Slothlands, there are even two ice machines on the landing as well as individual fridges by each bed. Students are encouraged to keep these well-stocked with JD in case of a sudden visit by a parent or guardian. You will agree there is nothing like a relaxing drink to encourage studious behaviour.

The three classrooms have been left very much as “original” and I think the old-fashioned desks make our students feel right at home. You will be amused to note further original features such as the quaint old crook-handled canes hanging from the door pegs! Again, these add a homely touch to the otherwise austere rooms. You should in no way feel alarmed, incidentally, by the iron rings set into the walls. Nor by the ropes fastened to them. These period decorations were very much the vogue when the building was new and I think you will agree with me that they still look good today.

Housed in the secondary building we have our own swimming pool. The beautifully-restored ducking stool makes a unique feature and I must thank our caretaker, Mr Ted Stoat, for all his hard work in bringing it up to meet EU standard e-11 1304. It was felt necessary to fit the elaborate restraint system for your daughter’s safety! No expense is spared at Slothlands! Students may play with this equipment under the (extremely) strict eye of our PE teacher, Miss Marie Gonzales. Coming to us with unique qualifications from a small South American country where she studied under its President himself, Miss Gonzales is happy to show our students “the ropes”!

In the adjacent room there is the Slothlands fully-equipped gymnasium. Once again we have thought of the student’s safety and have even fitted safety restraints on the vaulting horses! Your child will be safe in our hands!
There is an elaborate selection of ropes, some of which are used for climbing, a most beneficial exercise!

Upstairs you will find the Slothlands Academy Library. This is kept stocked with some of the best publications money can buy (and a few that cannot be purchased over the counter of even the grandest bookshops.) We have first-edition Qmoqs as well as other well-known writers of that genre. The students may browse through the books or read informative magazines such as “Hello” and “Bizarre” in order to further their general knowledge.


Teaching Staff.

Dr Edmund Master P(erve): Headmaster. All subject to him.

Miss Marie Gozales Dip(physrestraint) PE; Current affairs; General Studies.

Mr Arbuthnot squiffington-Smythe T(wat) English; Geography; History; Mathematics; Physics; Chemistry; Economics; Human Biology (not allowed near art room)

Ancilliary Staff

Ms Janet Frump. Secretary and Matron.

Mr Ted Stoat. Caretaker.


There will be a supplement sent out that will cover the basic curriculum, student uniform and Academy rules.

[chattel69]

When will you be taking students...

[Domontop]

q

[Qmoq]

Is Miss Marie Gonzales seeing anyone at the moment? I'd like to look her up.

Good luck!

Q

[Uncle_Ed]

Is Miss Marie Gonzales seeing anyone at the moment? I'd like to look her up.



Q

Well Q, you can learn a whole lot more about her in the library in "Shocking news" listed under EDMUNDOSLOTH.

Gives details of her early life!

Ed.

[Uncle_Ed]

Slothlands Academy for Girls
The Old School House
Birchingem

Headmaster: Edmund Master P(erve) Hons.


DRESS CODE
At Slothlands Academy we expect our girls to always be neat and presentable and adhere to our strict dress code. Any girl found not complying with the following rules will be send immediately to the office of the Head for immediate correction

Everyday wear
The standard uniform consists of the following:
Skirt: this shall be knee-length or as much as four inches shorter. Girls with skirts any longer than this will be expected to roll them up. Skirt should be black with the regulation pleats.
Shirt: The white shirt shall be fitted to the body of the pupil. Baggy shapeless shirts are not acceptable; our students are ladies and should not seek to disguise this fact. We encourage our girls to select a bra in a colour which will be visible through the shirt, so there is no doubt that one is being worn. A red tie should be worn over this
Undergarments: Must be worn at all times unless the student has obtained a letter of permission from the Head. As with the shirts we believe femininity is a must- girls should select underwear fitting of a young lady. Grey underwear, or underwear which covers too much of the body will be confiscated. In order to ensure this rule is being adhered to, girls will be subject to spot checks as often as possible.
Socks: White knee-length socks, or else thigh high stockings are allowed. Tights will not be worn under any circumstances.
Shoes: Black shoes must be worn, stilettos are encouraged.
Blazer: Girls are expected to wear a red blazer carrying the school crest

Physical Education
Our physical education uniform consists of a short length skirt, white t shirt and red ‘Slothlands academy’ sweatshirt. Matching red underwear should be worn, as due to the length of the skirts and the nature of the activity, this may be exposed. Girls will also need long socks and appropriate shoes for sports.
Swimming: Girl’s may select their own bathing suits; however it should be noted that one-piece costumes are not allowed for health and safety reasons.

Nightwear
Once again I must stress that our pupils are young ladies and should act this way at all times. For this reason long pyjamas and oversized t-shirts are not allowed. Instead we suggest elegant silk nightdresses. The local town has a shop called ‘Anne Summers’ which will certainly have something appropriate.

School Crest
We are proud of our school crest and its decades of history. It bears the crossed cane and tawse symbol favoured by the school’s founders, and the initials ‘BDSM’ which stand for ‘Benevolence, Diligence, Sense and Mercy’- our school motto.

[Qmoq]

Blimey. I like it so far, can't wait to hear from the pupils.

Can't wait to hear the school song. What rhymes with "god-like headmaster"?

Q

[submissivewife]

What will Ed come up with next? LOL

[Uncle_Ed]

Actually-the dress code and crest are by jennyfer

[Uncle_Ed]

What will Ed come up with next? LOL

Many ask "What will come up Ed next?" Followed by "What should be put up Ed?"

[Qmoq]

Grins. Ed, your devotion to quality control must be applauded. I do like the idea that anything that goes up the lucky girls of Slothlands has been personally tested by you. Though I'd imagine that Miss Gonzalez would lend a hand. She might bring in some toys of her own, but unfortunately she's a bit clumsy, isn't she? Knowing her, she would drop all the toys down at her ankles, then spread them out for you, showing you everything she had.

That joke (c) Humphrey Lyttleton. Hehe.

Q

[Uncle_Ed]

Slothlands Academy for Girls
The Old School House
Birchingem

Headmaster: Edmund Master P(erve) Hons.

ADDENDOM TO PROSPECTUS

New Staff.

Mrs Fanny Master: I am delighted to announce that my dear wife has agreed to work as the Academy’s new chef.

Fanny, named of course after Fanny Craddock, is a “Cordon Rouge” chef and has many specialities, many of which may be useful when she’s cooking.

Fanny’s dumplings are world-famous and she is used to the preparation of tarts; a skill we will find invaluable here at Slothlands.

I feel positive that all the girls will enjoy a bit of Fanny during their mealtimes!

Ed Master.

[Qmoq]

Ed, I cannot believe that you didn't make the old joke about the domestic science teacher instructing a class on how to make doughnuts that look just like Fanny's.

Unless... you were waiting for me to do it, and this is a trap. Hehe.

Q

[Uncle_Ed]

You got me Q!

[Qmoq]

Ed! Scandal and intrigue.

I found a discarded pair of panties over by the bike sheds. They were red, and they have a single initial on them. I can't quite make it out - it looks like an S... but it could be a C... or maybe a J. Or it could be another S.

I'll need to examine them from a closer angle for a few months before I've decided who they belong to.

Q

[jennyfer]

Dammit Q you promised not to tell anyone!
Well at least you made it look like it was Sucha...

[Uncle_Ed]

jennyfer:

My study, 5:00 this afternoon.

And for outstanding support (not to mention pervyness and a substantial bribe) Qmoq has agreed to join the mayhem and contribute to Slothlands.

Now. if only the girls would complete thieir homework! ) except jennyfer who is throwing herself into this with enthusiasm. It's a pity she appears to be throwing other things as well...

[Uncle_Ed]

Slothlands Academy for Girls
The Old School House
Birchingem

Headmaster: Edmund Master P(erve) Hons.

ACADEMY RULES



1) In all matters relating to the Academy and discipline the Head Master’s decision is final. All members of the Academy staff are authorised to punish students.

2) The Head Master and his staff have full authority to enforce Academy rules as they consider appropriate, taking into consideration the nature of the offence and the student's previous conduct.

3) For the safety of pupils and enforcement of Academy standards the school buildings and grounds are covered by Closed Circuit Television. Recordings are the property of the Head Master and may be shown at will, and used in the furtherance of the pupils' and/or the academy’s interests.

4) The Head Master and his staff are dedicated to the student's complete welfare. Therefore at the start of each new term, each pupil will be given a full medical examination. This examination is offered at reduced cost as it is now included as part of the teaching regime in the local medical school.

5) The Academy is committed to the success of students. The Head Master has a long standing relationship with certain members of the examining board which ensures that simple obedience guarantees 100% pass rate. Rigorous coaching for presentation to the examining board will be given to all students.

6) All classes are compulsory. All assignments must be completely satisfactorily and in a timely manner. Failure to do so will result in summary discipline.

7) Students are expected to behave as perfect ladies at all times and remember that their behaviour reflects the Academy's reputation. Uniforms must be worn at all times, and instant obedience and respect given to all members of staff.

8) By accepting a place at the Academy students will have been deemed to have accepted these rules and no complaints will be considered.

9) Students will assist with the serving of school meals. Each day a student will be selected to wait on the top table. A black latex waitress uniform, to the headmaster's own particularly tasteful design, must be worn. Students can find full details on http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/stories/w...p?storyid=4379


Day to day rules:

!) Blouses fastened only by 3rd button
2) No girl shall shower alone
3) All punishments public-unless head says other wise
4) No nun-like behaviour
5) All grins shall be evil & wicked
6) All girls shall look innocent
7) No blushing. No girl shall be embarrassed

The Head Master reserves the right to modify or add rules without consultation or warning.

[Uncle_Ed]

Thanks to cariad and minx for the rules.

[Uncle_Ed]

I have just approved our first student for the new term:

Dear Ed Master

Please accept this letter as my formal application to be admitted to
Slothlands Academy

I am no doubt older than several of your other potential students but I
believe I can bring some experience with me, years ago I did in fact
discover the meaning of life, unfortunately I forgot to write it down.

I am currently studying at the School of Life, but the subjects I am
developing an interest in, are not on the curriculum. These being-
Physical Education, including ropes, horses,cartwheels, floor exercises,
Corporal punishment, chat room etiquette, the role of the sub in Society and of course subservience classes.

I have taken several exams, psychometric testing including, however these
all proved inconclusive. I have however managed to pass one test and this
was related to personality.

A little about me

I can tread water for 2 days in a row
I play the triangle
I participate in full contact sports such as origami
I am in expert in suduko;
A veteran in needlework;
An outlaw according to Mrs Tiggiewinkle as I once ran over a hedgehog
On the last day of every week I replace batteries in several hand held
devices which I own
I have the ability to negotiate with terrorists if they threaten to
raid my supply of white chocolate

If needed I can produce a psychologists or is that psychiatrists report and
am willing to undergo any further assessments you deem necessary. I also
undertake to be bound by your decision

I look forward to showing my appreciation in some way, decided by yourself
of course.

Yours in a very skimpy school uniform

suchaminx

APPROVED

[Qmoq]

Umm Ed, I was in the local pub the other day – you know, “The Gilded Ostrich”, and I found a diary. Naturally, a diary is a secret, precious thing that should be treated like a sacred document. So here it is.

Qmoq

Wednesday 17th May

Found another bra in the dorms. Why these girls are careless enough to leave their underwear in their lockers, I’ll never know. Still, Ed seemed pleased when I presented it to him, so some lass is not going to sit down for a week. Mmm. I know who I hope it is.

That new teacher arrives on Friday, Miss Sanchez or something. Ed seems very keen on her, but her list of requirements for her office seems long, to say the least. Why she needs a cabinet for her canes, I’ll never know: Ed just puts his in an umbrella stand made from an elephant’s foot, and polishes them with the fur from a cat he ran over once. And he’s had no complaints.

Thursday 18th May

Ach. I got her name wrong, it’s Miss Gonzales. Miss Marie Gonzales. Bet she’s got a stick up her ass, they all do, these young teachers.

Friday 19th May

Bless my old bones, I think I’m in love. Or at lust, at least. Miss Marie Gonzales is simply the most delectable creature that I have ever seen: from every angle she could produce drool at twenty paces. If she’s got a stick up her ass, my only problem would be that she’s not asked me to lick it yet. Or be it. Oh my, how I would love to bend her forwards over her desk, and slide my cock deep into that ass of hers, reaching over to squeeze her tits at the same time. She’s young, Mexican, jet-black hair that frames her pretty face and pixie nose, atop which she wears a permanent set of wide-rimmed glasses that suit her perfectly. And that body. Oh my lord. Got a kinda healthy Salma Hayek vibe about her, which can’t be bad. Ed introduced her this morning, and he had a damn filthy grin on his face too, don’t you know. Lucky bastard. She teaches General Studies, which is a waste of fricking time if you ask me, but I tell you, that woman could general my studies any day.

Monday 22nd May

Nope. I’ve looked at this for three days now and still don’t know what “general my studies” means. But my passion for Miss Gonzales mounts.

I walked past her lesson today, and saw her in action. She has a lot going for her, I couldn’t keep my eyes away as she reached up to write some words on the blackboard. She may have been writing something most profound: I didn’t see it. I only saw the tender, small hand that cradled the chalk, the slim, pretty wrist it was attached to. Her smart little business suit deserves a mention, it fitted her and showed off all her curves, yet wasn’t suited for a teacher that reached up too much. Even from my distance, I could see the tight skirt hitch up and reveal her stockingtop.

The girls were being their usual selves. Cariad was flicking elastic bands at Jennyfer, and Seababy was looking out of the window – she gave me a wink when she saw me. Only Suchaminx actually appeared to be doing any work, writing studiously, until I saw what she had written, when she stuck a note that read “Tawse Me” on Seababy’s back.

But when Miss Gonzales turned around, and fixed the girls with a stare, they all snapped rigidly to position, primly putting their shoulders back and producing tremendous strain on that third button. When she turned back to the blackboard, all the girls paid much more attention. Seababy darted her eyes in my direction, and raised an eyebrow at me, but was too scared to wink again.

I love her. Miss Gonzales, I mean. Not Seababy, though she’s nice too.


Tuesday 23rd May

Well, yesterday I thought I loved her. Today I only think I think I love her. She passed me in the canteen and seemed a little hoity-toity, snapping “I need to see you on Thursday in my office at five.” Even so, she held herself with a delicate grace, and that arse was still as edible as ever.

Wednesday 24th May

Had to clean the girls’ toilets today, the graffiti is disgraceful. I reported it verbatim to Ed, who nodded, said “Ooo that’s a good one,” and wrote it down. I was truly disappointed when I realised that cleaning it up meant I missed Miss Gonzales take the girls on a four mile run through the rain. I got a note from her though, which reminded my of our appointment. I held it to my bosom, then stuck it deep into my pockets, though I admit I was a bit uncertain.

Thursday 25th May

I hate her. God damn.

I went to her office at five, as requested, and without even saying hello or offering me a cup of tea, she asked me how often her office was cleaned. When I said it was cleaned once every three days, she hissed that this was nowhere near good enough, and it should be cleaned once a day, at least. Silly tart doesn’t realised I’d have to do it myself, not since two of the girls got caught with the cleaning staff. Then Miss Gonzales had the temerity to order her a large cabinet for her canes, and was quite specific about it.

“It cannot be more than four foot high or two foot wide, otherwise the canes would look silly hanging there.”

“If I got you a taller cabinet, you could chuck other things in the bottom. The punishment vibrators, for instance, are a pain in the doo-dah to keep anywhere, but they’d be perfect down th-”

“You silly little man,” she interrupted. “I am a pro-fess-io-nal woman. I do not cast my possessions into the bottom of a cupboard, I treat them with respect.”

Something in the way she emphasised each syllable of the word ‘professional’ made my blood boil, but I held my tongue.

“Well?” she continued. “Aren’t you going to measure the floor to make sure it can fit?”

I stared at her, perturbed but determined to show that I was a pro-fess-io-nal too. I got down on all fours, and shuffled to the wall, tape-measure in hand. She ignored me, of course, which was handy in one respect. I looked at her stockinged legs under her desk, just as she crossed them. Oh my, that flash of white panties made it all worthwhile, and the contrast against her dusky brown thighs was astonishing.

Without looking up from her papers, she called out. “Well, do you have anything that could fit in there?”

I stood up, and looked at the measurement. “Yes, Miss Gonzales. I’ll bring it to you tomorrow.”

“See that you do,” she replied.

[Qmoq]

Friday 26th May

I brought her the cabinet to her office on a trolley, knocked quietly on her door, and waited. No response. I knocked again.

“Yes, yes,” she snapped. “Come in, if you must.”

I entered. She wore black today, with a prim blouse with the white collar over the outside of the collar of the jacket. If she hadn’t been such a cow, I would have been chronically erect. Even so, she did stir something inside me.

“Oh, it’s you,” she sniffed, as though she was saying hello to something she found on her mudflaps.

“Where do you want the cabinet, Miss Gonzales?” I asked politely. I was polite, I always am.

“Where do you think?” she shrugged, and pointed in the direction of the gap I had measured the previous day. “Over there, and be quick about it, I’m a busy woman.”
I nodded obsequiously and pushed it into place. As I pulled the trolley away, I nudged over a yukka plant, and she got to her feet.

“Sorry Miss,” I said. “I’ll clean that up in a minute.”

“You’ll clean it up now, or else.”

“N-no,” I said nervously. “First, I need to show you how the cabinet works.”

I opened the doors, and she stepped closer to it, looking inside, mumbling something about knowing how a goddamn cabinet works and certainly not needing any lessons on it from a boneheaded caretaker, when I pushed her inside with a single hand on her back. She stumbled in, bounced sweetly off the back wall, then disappeared as I shut the cabinet on her. She banged heavily on the door, which got louder when I locked it and put it on the trolley. I pushed her out into the corridor. The headmaster was coming in the other direction.

“I say, Ted, where are you going with that cabinet? What’s in there?” he asked when he heard it rattling.

“Umm, no sir, Miss Marie Gonzales is in here, I’m going to ravish her quite vigorously.”

“Jolly good, do carry on,” replied the head, satisfied. “Please don’t let the girls see it, though. You know how much trouble they cause when they get aroused.”

“Yus sir,” I nodded. He was right. When they did well on their exams, we rewarded them with a George Clooney marathon on the school TV. Took me three days to get all the stains out.

It meant I had to find a deserted place, somewhere where the closed-circuit cameras and the girls couldn’t see me. When I thought of the place, I began to laugh so hard, it stopped the banging on the doors and made Miss Gonzales begin to squeal nervously.

I was glad the trolley had wide wheels, otherwise it would have got stuck in the lighter mud, long before the virtual swamp that sat in the middle of the playing fields. I unlocked the cabinet, not saying a word, then I upended her. She flopped out of the cabinet, right into the mud with a heavy squelch. Quickly, she got up, began to run uncertainly on her four-inch heels, and started to stumble even before I chose to catch her. My old rugby union days helped me out. I grabbed her by the wrist, spun her round like I was John Travolta, and hurled her into the mud again.

She slid for three yards in the mess, gasping at the cold water as it seeped into her clothes. When she got up this time, her blouse was virtually transparent, and her suit was almost totally filth-ridden, certainly ruined. She looked nervous, but did not scream.

“You will p-pay for t-this,” she said, but the confidence in her voice had gone. She turned and ran, and I just had to take two quick paces towards her, reach out a leg to trip her up, and she was on her face again. This time I crouched by her fallen frame, and her pathetic posture seemed to inspire me.

“You want everything clean, but you don’t know what dirt really is, do you?” I snarled.

Umm. Then I regret that I may not have treated her like a lady. I sat on her as she lay face down, and used both hands differently. With my left hand, I held that bun of hers, and forced her head into the mud, which made her arms flail wildly, and her legs kick up in the air.

“You love to be treated like a dirty bitch, don’t you?”

“Yowgle,” she spluttered when I let her come up for air.

“That’s yowgle, Mister Stoat,” I responded, and pushed her head back down again. My other hand – and I should stress that I am right handed – curled around under her short skirt, and was pinching and scratching some sensitive skin at the top of her inner thigh. It was hard to get any closer, because the silly thing kept clenching her legs shut on me. I lifted her head again and whispered “Spread those legs for me, Miss Gonzales,” into her ear.

“Burple,” she replied, but when I feinted to push her head in again, she complied. In return, to prove that I was a reasonable man, I let go of her head.

“Good girl,” I said, and began to stroke the back of her neck with the tips of my fingers. She calmed instantly, and the muscles in her legs relaxed, the arms went limp. My right hand moved upwards, and found what I expected to find. Ed would not have hired someone at the rates he charges, if they were normal.
“You’re not a normal girl, are you?” I asked in a triumphant, smiling voice. “Your little cunt is all wet, isn’t it? ISN’T IT?” I grabbed her hair and pulled her head so far back that her shapely, slim neck was exposed.

“Yes, Mr Stoat, it is,” she purred.

I slid a finger halfway into her cunt. The chin dropped, the eyes clenched shut, she let out a tender little gasp, but said nothing.

“What do you propose I do? Should I measure something to put into it?” I asked.

“N-n-y-no,” she gurgled.

“Or maybe I should just fuck you right here in the mud,” I added. It was not a question.

“Yes,” she said with a growl in her voice. “Fuck me, sir.”

That was all I wanted to hear. I undid the bun on the back of her head, stood up, and dragged her to her feet by the straggly, dirty hair. She grunted and arched her back, standing uncertainly on her heels.

“Take off your skirt. Throw it in the cabinet.”

Her shaking hands undid a clasp on her waistband, and the skirt was removed. She tossed it weakly at the open cabinet, it landed a good three yards short. As it landed, I brought my hand hard down on her left buttock.

“Clumsy,” I said, and slapped the other one. Her body jolted forwards at each slap, the gasps were a dead giveaway. “You love this, don’t you, slut?”

“Y-yes sir, t-this slut loves it.”

I pushed her to the floor again, and ordered her to get on all fours. This, she readily did, and I knelt behind her for more observation. “Arch your back, whore, and get those knees further apart. I want to see this cunt of yours,” I slapped her inner thighs hard, and she dutifully spread her legs. I slapped them again, harder this time, just because the red marks contrasted wonderfully against the brown skin and drops of wet mud. Then I looked at her tight little pussy. “Ahh, my goodness, Miss Gonzales, I am going to enjoy fucking this cunt. It is small, and I love to stretch pussies like this, you know? But it’s wet, my god it’s wet, you’re a damp little fucktoy, aren’t you?”

“Yes sir!”

I slapped her arse again. “What are you?”

“I’m your stupid little fucktoy, sir!”

I scraped my fingernails down the small of her back to the top of her stockingtops. I didn’t even ask her again, but she continued.

“And I need to be fucked, because I’m an insatiable cowslut, sir. Make me your cumbitch, please sir, I need your cock in me so badly, sir!”

I unzipped myself, already ready to burst, and knelt behind her. I placed the head of my cock into her, and he whimpered with anticipation. Then I leaned over her and my entire length slid into that tight little cunt. I could feel her muscles tighten on it, as though she never wanted to let it go. I pushed her head forwards again, face down into the mud. She gurgled happily as I began to fuck her, coming up for air to beg me to fuck her harder.

It only took a few minutes, she may have pissed me off so much in the previous few days, but she did look like Salma Hayek, and she was coated in mud and calling herself degrading names that even I had never heard before. So when she asked if she could cum, and I let her, and she roared with a cry that made birds fly from the treetops, it only took a second for me to spurt deep into her pussy. I collapsed on top of her, my heavy mass forcing her tender frame into the mud, which seeped happily around her. My hands idly stroked and fingered her hair as she cooed warm thank-you-sirs to me. She was a grateful little cunt, I thought to myself.

Eventually, when I found some strength, I got up, pulled her to her feet, dragged her to the cabinet and roughly shoved her inside. She turned to face me, her mud-soaked face looking up with devilish eyes and a wicked grin. I bit my lip and shut the door on her, then put the cabinet back on the trolley. I took my time to brush some of the mud from my overalls, remembered to zip up, and began to push her back to her office. She remained silent. I thought I had gotten away with it, but as I passed the girls coming out of their usual detention, something they said seemed to indicate that we may have been discovered.

“Have you had a good day, sir?” asked Suchaminx.

“Nice weather, isn’t it, sir?” asked Cariad.

“Always good to get some fresh air, isn’t it, sir?” asked Seababy.

“Wow, sir, I loved the way you shoved your fingers in her cunt when you were pulling back on her hair,” grinned Jennyfer.

Maybe I was paranoid.

The end

[Uncle_Ed]

Slothlands Academy for Girls
The Old School House
Birchingem

Headmaster: Edmund Master P(erve) Hons.


MEMO TO: MR TED STOAT.

Mr Stoat,

I have in my possession a diary that I believe belongs to you.

I have glanced through it and I have to register my deep disappointment with your behaviour. Your conduct with Miss Gonzales is STOATALLY UNACCEPTABLE.

I have impressed on you before that extra-curricular activities are to be fully-documented on CCTV and your choice of Slothlands playing field WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

On a milder matter, the new CCTV cameras I ordered have arrived. Please install them on the masts overlooking the Slothlands playing fields at your earliest convenience.

By the way, that new barmaid at “The Gilded Ostrich” has asked me to tell you that she is anxious to get her hands on your pump handle as she has heard that your equipment produces a good, thick head. It was jolly good of you to offer to install it for her

Ed Master.

[Uncle_Ed]

Slothlands Academy for Girls
The Old School House
Birchingem

Headmaster: Edmund Master P(erve) Hons.


MEMO TO: Miss Marie Gonzales.


It has come to my notice that you have had extra-curricular relations with Mr Ted Stoat on the Slothlands playing field and that during said activities you became wet and muddy.

This disgusting display WILL NOT BE REPEATED unless it is recorded on CCTV. Mr Stoat is today installing a new camera system on the fields and I shall expect you to refrain from performing out there until they have been checked out.

As you have shamed yourself and allowed your clothes to become so filthy I am instructing you to be in the staff shower-room at 6:00 pm where I shall hose you down personally. I shall also being experimenting with on interesting “sponge on a stick” that the dear General (under whom you struggled to study) sent me for my last birthday. Apparently I have to attach the two cables to a 24-volt truck battery before making it wet and applying to you. Technology is a wonderful thing.

Mr Stoat will be in attendance as this was his condition under which he has leant me his battery.

Ed Master.

[Uncle_Ed]

SLOTHLANDS ANTHEM

Verse one;
Onward girls of Slothlands, dressing like a whore!
With the cross of St. Andrew going on before!
Ed pervy headmaster leans against your butt!
Forward in and thrusting
See his cane’s deep cut

Refrain:
Onward girls of Slothlands, dressing like a whore!
With the cross of St. Andrew going on before!


Verse two;

At the sign of triumph bras, Slothlands teachers free
Out then little boobies, let your teachers see!
Foundation garments quiver at the mighty strain!
Students! Lift your nipples give them up for pain!

Refrain:

Verse three;

Like a mighty flagpole moves the trousers crotch
Students, we are looking soon then we will touch!
Legs not yet divided all in one mind we
One in kinks and uniform we are all pervy!

Refrain:

Verse four;
Rubber pants may perish orgasms rise and wain
But Slothlands Academy forever will remain
Gates of Slothlands never shut against new girls
You have your Heads promises his fingers in your curls!

Refrain:

Verse five:

Onward then ye students join our happy throng
Blend with ours your juices collecting in your thong
Whoring, fraud, dishonour make your way in this world
Onward then you students proud new Slothlands girls!

Refrain:

[Uncle_Ed]

I am delighted to receive another application:

Dear Dr Master,

I would be grateful if you would consider me for a place in your Academy.

Unfortunately following the birth of little eric I have let my studies slip. I wish to gain enough qualifications to entry to advanced studies in Marine Sciences since I think will this help me understand our dearest little fishy offspring. I also hope that having a mother enrolled at the Academy will help when we are looking at schools for him to join.

My hobbies include aquatics and kick boxing; rearranging letters in words, and numbers in phone numbers.

I found both the geometry and art classes which you offer of particular interest, since I have a personal interest in patterns which can be formed using straight lines only.

If non of the above entitles to me a place at that Academy I would just like to add that I once organised a Womble hunt on Wimbledon Common and writing this letter wearing a latex cat-suit.

Yours, bending over in eager anticipation of being offered a place.


(from cariad)

APPROVED



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[jennyfer]

Dear Mr Ed Master,

Please consider my application to become a student of your fine establishment.
I am nineteen years old and so may be one of your younger pupils, however I am confident I will be able to meet the stringent demands you place on all your students. Since completing my education in an oppressive and highly outdated girl’s school almost a year ago, I have missed the unnecessarily strict discipline, bizarre rules and worryingly sexualised uniform. After much research, I am confident that your Academy will fill these gaps in my life.

My recent first hand experience of the A-level system will give me a slight advantage over some of the other pupils, however I assure you I will compensate for this by making absolutely no effort in order to be fair on the other girls.

I am very interested in your somewhat unconventional curriculum and look forward to using classes such as bondage and physical education to show off how “flexible” I am. I can make no promises about my general behaviour, however give me a prefect badge and I shall appropriately terrorise the other students.

I have many skills including cooking and looking damn cute, and will be more than willing to use these within your academy, especially if they will get me out of trouble and guarantee good grades. I can also juggle, which comes in handy more often than you might think.

Unfortunately due to a rare allergy to certain types of paper I will not be able to take part in general studies classes. Past experience has shown me that these classes will cause a negative reaction which will demonstrate itself in destructive behaviour, and result in me drawing totally unnecessary pictures of penises. I’m sure you will understand the devastating effect of this illness and excuse me from this subject.

I wait in eager anticipation of your acceptance. In order to help your decision, please find enclosed a photograph of me in ‘school uniform’ to demonstrate how well I will fit in.
Yours sincerely,
Jennyfer

[Qmoq]

Ed,

You've got to accept Jennyfer! The school needs a juggler. And ask her if she can draw a fish. I like fish. Either that or Cameron Diaz in a pool of ice-cream.

Q

[Uncle_Ed]

Dear Mr Ed Master,

Please consider my application to become a student of your fine establishment.
I am nineteen years old and so may be one of your younger pupils, however I am confident I will be able to meet the stringent demands you place on all your students. Since completing my education in an oppressive and highly outdated girl’s school almost a year ago, I have missed the unnecessarily strict discipline, bizarre rules and worryingly sexualised uniform. After much research, I am confident that your Academy will fill these gaps in my life.

My recent first hand experience of the A-level system will give me a slight advantage over some of the other pupils, however I assure you I will compensate for this by making absolutely no effort in order to be fair on the other girls.

I am very interested in your somewhat unconventional curriculum and look forward to using classes such as bondage and physical education to show off how “flexible” I am. I can make no promises about my general behaviour, however give me a prefect badge and I shall appropriately terrorise the other students.

I have many skills including cooking and looking damn cute, and will be more than willing to use these within your academy, especially if they will get me out of trouble and guarantee good grades. I can also juggle, which comes in handy more often than you might think.

Unfortunately due to a rare allergy to certain types of paper I will not be able to take part in general studies classes. Past experience has shown me that these classes will cause a negative reaction which will demonstrate itself in destructive behaviour, and result in me drawing totally unnecessary pictures of penises. I’m sure you will understand the devastating effect of this illness and excuse me from this subject.

I wait in eager anticipation of your acceptance. In order to help your decision, please find enclosed a photograph of me in ‘school uniform’ to demonstrate how well I will fit in.
Yours sincerely,
Jennyfer

APPROVED

[Uncle_Ed]

Ed,

I like fish. Either that or Cameron Diaz in a pool of ice-cream.

Q

eric is going to need a baby-sitter when cariad is in class.

The pay is one Cameron Diaz picture plus tub of wall's vanilla, you can do your own dunking.

Interested?