The Perfect Dom

[tessa]

I was a bit flippant in my initial response. I apologize for that. All these thought-provoking comments have given me pause to consider this idea of "perfection" a bit more in-depth. Especially this one-

In fact...it's really the pairing of two people that makes for "perfection."

I've been thinking and thinking on this.

Based on personal experience, as well as hearing of the experiences of others, even in this kinky-fied arena, it seems like there is still some need to define and label the heck out of things. And if one doesn't "fit" into a few or more of those already established slots, then they're qualified as being less than respectful of (or serious about) this lifestyle. It's led to a lot of confusion and heartache for this newbie, let me just say.

Don't get me wrong, there are wonderfully accepting people to be known here, who just don't bother with trying to qualify what's "right" or that's there's only a specified way of going about all this learning. Through these lovely souls, I've come to realize that "perfection" is possible, but only within the just-right connection (and even then, it's a tough sell at times). Oz's comment hit home with me because as I try to figure some of this out for myself, I find that there are no resolutes, no certainties. Only by coupling with their "perfect" mate (which isn't necessarily just one person in the course of a lifetime), can one find out what's true for them. And that truth may fit no one else's truth.

And you know what? That is very okay.

The perfect Dominant, the perfect submissive, the perfect D/s relationship- can it be?? I think the answer is yes, but I qualify that 'yes' with the following-

Each relationship is made unique and precious by the hearts, souls and minds involved. Therein lies the perfection. And all of what that relationship develops into has worth, whether it's agreed with or not.

There is nothing wrong with having a firm belief in your own skills and abilities. The problem is arrogantly thinking that you know it all and that you have nothing left to learn.

Exactly that.

Thank you all for what you have to contribute here. Every word matters.

tessa