Headmaster's personal log.


Slothlands is a go! I must admit to these pages that I had some serious misgivings when I read the reports on the girls who have applied to the Academy. Some of them haven't done a scrap of work in their entire schoolastic career to date; some have been arrested for being drunk and disorderly; one had a sordid affair with that minister-you know who! Him with the squint and large holding somewhere in his trousers. There's even a police report linking one of them with the infamous "Golden syrup and The ArchBishop" fiasco!

Those girls are,of course, exactly what I expected. It's those damned little swots I hate. All "yes, Sir; No, Sir". They're no bloody good! I want to get my cane worn in before half-term! I don't want them to turn up for class in perfect uniforms! I want them to be disrespectful and arguementative-like that cariad! I've got my eye on that one! Miss "I'm a placid swan!" Ha! Furious paddling she wants-furious paddling she gets!

And that Suchaminx! "I'm a sweet angel!" with an "innocent look"! Who the hell is she kidding? I've seen the way she looks at squiffington-Up-His-Own-Arse Smythe! He doesn't notice-he's still watching old re-runs of "Blue Peter" and I suspect gets hard at the mere mention of Valerie Singleton.

Then there's jennyfer. Dark horse...black as midnight! She claims to juggle! Well, she'd better keep her hands off my balls while Fanny's around otherwise she'll be served for Sunday dinner-plucked and stuffed!

Now, I have an unknown arriving! chattel69! I do like the sound of the 69 bit. Must be a linguist of some kind... Says she likes sports. Don't we all! *note to self* check her out on vaulting horse with Stoat and Gonzales.

Right. Have an appointment with old mate JD.

Ed Master.