victims of abuse support for submissives

[ashtonDs]

Originally posted by bellelapine:
I would never leave our brothers in survival out of this

bellelapine, I really do appreciate that. Often we suffer continued abuse at the hands of those who follow the abuser. Like what your mother went through when told she deserved what she got. Well, men are no different.

My abuse (verbal and emotional) happened to me in school by a teacher in front of a room full of classmates, over the course of a whole school year. For many more years I was haunted by what happened and lived in dread that any new friends I met would find out. Men are supposed to "be tough" and "get over" stuff like that. We learn not to say anything about it to anyone. It was years before I told my wife.

And then a former friend of mine, who upon returning from college on winter break, told me in no uncertain terms that only women are abused, men are abusers. Therefore, if anything happened to me I deserved it because the teacher being female could not be an abuser.

Although sex enters into this many times, it's really about power. The abuser chooses someone weaker than they are as their victim. It's safer for them that way.


Originally posted by butterflySlave4u:
the other thing to remember is that we DID survive, ashton...and you/we owe those that went before us and DIDN'T survive, to be strong, and to carry on, and help those others that are going through it now...

You're absolutely right. But sometimes when you're trying to deal with it and it seems to be getting the upper hand, hearing from someone who went through it and survived has more impact than hearing it from someone sitting in an office safe and insulated from all your torment.

Between this thread and the one on abuse shaping your BDSM I mentally feel like I've lost weight. (it's weird but I don't know how else to describe it) I feel lighter. Being able to share this and hear from folks who understand as well as from folks who draw a bit of strength from it is incredible.

I never felt like it was something I survived even conquered, until now.

Great thread denuseri, thanks.

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Oh, almost forgot...
Sometimes we do need professional intervention. Try the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. http://www.ncsfreedom.org/kap

They can refer you to "bdsm friendly" psychological, medical and legal professionals near you.