Slothlands Academy

[Uncle_Ed]

Headmasters Log.

Well! There's an interesting bit of gossip! Seems old Stoat has been getting to know the staff. I must say that I'm pleasantly surprised as I would never have put him down as the socialisng sort. Marie was very closed mouth about the whole thing when I saw her earlier on. In fact, I could swear that she had something in her mouth! She spoke most indistinctly and appeared to have been dribbling! I expect she has been to the dentist but didn't want to worry me-what a trooper! I must say old Stoat is lucky to have that one advancing on his front!

The girls seem to be settling in well and I'm expecting perhaps another late entrant! This one will truly be trouble.

The end of term play appears to be going down well and young cariad is shaping up as a right good bottom.

All is well, dear log, so I shall retire with Fanny. She's been in those latex drawers all day so will be dripping by now.

[Julie-Truly]

uhm ... ok .... I just need to organize my thoughts ... ok ... that didn't take long ... ok ... I would like to apply to get into Slothlands Academy, ok? I mean, I like already asked .. but they said it had to be in writing so ... ok ... here.

I think I would add a lot of good stuff to your school and some needed perversity ... no wait ... I mean ... diversity. I am currently 29 years old and have been for several years! I am also pretty darn sofisticated since I have not only lived in Los Angeles and New York, I was born in West Texas. Pretty Impressive, huh? Dam skippy it is! I have tons of class and I'm sure it would rub off on your other students and faculty (if you know what I mean - wink!).

I am already pretty darn educated from my years at the Texas State School for Wayward Girls (I escaped ... errr "graduated" a while back) but I figured ... hey, Julie ... what the f*ck ... expand your verizons, right? I mean, am I right or what? Dam skippy, I'm right!

Anyway ... I know I am starting a little late but I catch up fast! One of your own professors was so impressed with my intellijunce when we first met that he said I was as smart as a button! So I have that going for me.

Uhm .... I can speak English really good and am learning to speak British too so thats all cheerio, right? I don't know what sports you have there but if you have a football team, you will be happy to know that I am a former cheerleader and would be glad to help out on your squad! In fact ... I was HEAD cheerleader (if you get my drift? wink). uhm ... I hope you guys don't play soccer or badminton or like sissy sports?

I am 5'6", 120 pounds (or stones or whatever you guys call them), and a natural redhead (thanks to Clairol!). Everyone says I have a very sweet disposition (they better or I will ... kick ... their ... ass!). Oh and I am a jen-u-whine British Duchess too! The Duchess of Fabulous! My trailor ... I mean mobile castle ... is located at my estate in North South-East WorsteshireFlemingtonHampshire on Thames (its in the parking lot next to the Quiki-Mart - can't miss it!).

So anyways ... I am all ready to start .... just say the word! You won't be sorry!

Uhm ... but if there is any entrance exam or like that ... I have to tell you that I freeze up a bit and am not so good at writing ... but if I have to, I could take an oral exam and I bet I will get a f*cking A+++. And if all the teachers need to examine me, bring it on! I am a 24 hours a day girl ... and a lady to boot!

Respectfully and Demurely Yours,
Julie-Truly

P.S. sorry about wrapping this around a brick and throwing it through your window but I don't have any British stamps and your damn security wouldn't let me deliver it personally. Seemed to think I was selling something! And what the heck is a "slag"?

[Uncle_Ed]

uhm ... ok .... I just need to organize my thoughts ... ok ... that didn't take long ... ok ... I would like to apply to get into Slothlands Academy, ok? I mean, I like already asked .. but they said it had to be in writing so ... ok ... here.

I think I would add a lot of good stuff to your school and some needed perversity ... no wait ... I mean ... diversity. I am currently 29 years old and have been for several years! I am also pretty darn sofisticated since I have not only lived in Los Angeles and New York, I was born in West Texas. Pretty Impressive, huh? Dam skippy it is! I have tons of class and I'm sure it would rub off on your other students and faculty (if you know what I mean - wink!).

I am already pretty darn educated from my years at the Texas State School for Wayward Girls (I escaped ... errr "graduated" a while back) but I figured ... hey, Julie ... what the f*ck ... expand your verizons, right? I mean, am I right or what? Dam skippy, I'm right!

Anyway ... I know I am starting a little late but I catch up fast! One of your own professors was so impressed with my intellijunce when we first met that he said I was as smart as a button! So I have that going for me.

Uhm .... I can speak English really good and am learning to speak British too so thats all cheerio, right? I don't know what sports you have there but if you have a football team, you will be happy to know that I am a former cheerleader and would be glad to help out on your squad! In fact ... I was HEAD cheerleader (if you get my drift? wink). uhm ... I hope you guys don't play soccer or badminton or like sissy sports?

I am 5'6", 120 pounds (or stones or whatever you guys call them), and a natural redhead (thanks to Clairol!). Everyone says I have a very sweet disposition (they better or I will ... kick ... their ... ass!). Oh and I am a jen-u-whine British Duchess too! The Duchess of Fabulous! My trailor ... I mean mobile castle ... is located at my estate in North South-East WorsteshireFlemingtonHampshire on Thames (its in the parking lot next to the Quiki-Mart - can't miss it!).

So anyways ... I am all ready to start .... just say the word! You won't be sorry!

Uhm ... but if there is any entrance exam or like that ... I have to tell you that I freeze up a bit and am not so good at writing ... but if I have to, I could take an oral exam and I bet I will get a f*cking A+++. And if all the teachers need to examine me, bring it on! I am a 24 hours a day girl ... and a lady to boot!

Respectfully and Demurely Yours,
Julie-Truly

ACCEPTED-CONDITIONALLY. THIS STUDENT NEEDS TO PAY CASH.

[Uncle_Ed]

Slothlands Academy for Girls
The Old School House
Birchingem

Headmaster: Edmund Master P(erve) Hons.

MEMO: TO ALL GIRLS


As a small start of term incentive, I have decided to hold a little competition.

Slothlands, our proud academic institution, needs a motto.Something informal and apart from our BDSM on our crest. So the competition is for you to think of one.

I know I can rely on your good sense and taste to come with something entirely tasteless, insulting and unsuitable.

The prize will be 2 hours behind the bike shed with Arbuthnot or Stoat.

Or I may consider a years' supply of white chocolate.

Get those brains to work!

ED MASTER

[Julie-Truly]

... I was giving it some thought ... while I was painting my toenails ... and trying to balance my checkbook (there's always more checks than money) ... and driving to work ... so I turned on the radio ... and I think I got a good idea!

Preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesenting .... the new Slothlands Academy for Girls School Motto ...

"Don'cha wish your girlfriend was a FREAK like me ... don'cha?"

sooooooooooooooooooo ... do I win? Do I? Do I Do I?