hmmmm

[blythe spirit]

It really isn't a big deal.

Perhaps not to you, but to some it is a big deal. This is freedom of choice, no? I had a mental image of you, Tom, from your posts, then I saw your pics.

[QUOTE=mastersgem;678592For me personally, the only person's opinion that I care about is my daughter's and since I'm completely open and honest with her, I have nothing to hide from anyone.[/QUOTE]

I think it's wonderful that you have an open and honest relationship with your daughter. And I'm sure she's proud of your most recent photo shoot. The pics are amazing and so are you; however, not all of us are as free and open with relatives, friends, co-workers. It's not that they might be browsing this site, but someone they know might be and... "hey is this your mom, aunt, friend, teacher, mayor, etc?" Again, not posting a pic is freedom of choice.

Still, I'm off topic, as usual. hehe Yeah, I agree with Tom and gemmy - you Doms start posting some pics. We submissives want to know what we're getting into. lol

p.s. guess I'll never get that multi-quote thing right. lol

[TomOfSweden]

Perhaps not to you, but to some it is a big deal. This is freedom of choice, no? I had a mental image of you, Tom, from your posts, then I saw your pics.

I think it's wonderful that you have an open and honest relationship with your daughter. And I'm sure she's proud of your most recent photo shoot. The pics are amazing and so are you; however, not all of us are as free and open with relatives, friends, co-workers. It's not that they might be browsing this site, but someone they know might be and... "hey is this your mom, aunt, friend, teacher, mayor, etc?" Again, not posting a pic is freedom of choice.

Which was exactly my point. I wrote this: "If you have issues about posting your picture here you are hiding something. It could be shame about your perceived ugliness, shyness or something similar."

You just said it yourself. You fear any repercussions you might experience from it getting out where you live that you're into hanky panky sex. Fine. I wasn't reacting to that. If I was a hot submissive chick in Afghanistan I wouldn't post my picture on-line no matter how much my Master commanded it. I mean... it's dangerous.

What I reacted to was those pretending like it wasn't. As if not seeing someone's picture was better somehow. I strongly doubt that anybody living in a western country could suffer any repercussions from posting pics here... but what do I know? I've never been to the Bible belt. For all I know the Christian Talebans might be as bad as their Afghani counterparts!?! If the wrong person accuses you of having posted your picture here.... just deny it. They could have found that picture anywhere. There's no extra brownie points for being truthful to morons. Again... this is assuming its an innocent picture.

...and your kids will always think you're silly and your sons friends will always think you're super hot, (if you're a lady). Who cares? At worst it'll be educational for them. But maybe I'm being overly modern now again? What seven year old today isn't already bored with seeing pictures of Japanese school girls spraying diarrhoea in each other's mouths? These are modern times. If you think any pics of you, (not specifically you) would be news worthy enough to be spread over the net, I think you're overestimating yourself.

Anyway.... you have to own up to the fact that the reason you don't post your pics is largely down to irrational fear. Nothing wrong with that. I've got an irrational fear of loads of things. But don't pretend like it isn't. We're all adults here. If you're not comfortable about something... don't do it. It's as simple as that. You don't have to make up some stupid cover story to hide behind. We all know the truth anyway.

[blythe spirit]

Which was exactly my point. I wrote this: "If you have issues about posting your picture here you are hiding something. It could be shame about your perceived ugliness, shyness or something similar."

Yes, indeedy, that's what you wrote but that's hardly the same, in my opinon, as fearing the loss of job and family.

What I reacted to was those pretending like it wasn't. As if not seeing someone's picture was better somehow.

And yet somehow it is at times. (bites tongue) Maybe not to you, but there are some of us out there that truly want to know someone from the inside out.

Sorry for interrupting this scheduled program. Back on topic. Some day, I promise to get this quote thing right. hehe

[gemmy]

Sorry for interrupting this scheduled program. Back on topic. Some day, I promise to get this quote thing right. hehe

lmao!

[TomOfSweden]

Yes, indeedy, that's what you wrote but that's hardly the same, in my opinon, as fearing the loss of job and family.

But nobody ever has, and you won't? Has this happened to anybody? Ever? How isn't this just pure paranoia? But I don't think it's paranoia. I think you're just being shy but not admitting it to yourself. There's nothing wrong with being shy. I think it is very cute in moderate doses. We've all been in a situation where we've been shy and had to over-come it. We can all empathise. Just admit it! You won't lose anything.

What are we truly attracted to in a person? Their strengths or their faults? We like to think we're attracted to a persons strengths, but its really not.. is it? We like our partners to be weak in some way. If they aren't we'd be useless. Then we wouldn't fill a function in your partners life. That's hardly being a partner is it? And it doesn't give any security, since we'd be replaceable like a pair of pants.

So you've got nothing fear, have you? Embrace your shyness. It's useless to deny it. It's not like anybody is going to think anything else are they? Either people will think that you're bullshitting or a little bit cute. What do you think will play to your advantage in the long run?

[AdrianaAurora]

But nobody ever has, and you won't? Has this happened to anybody? Ever? How isn't this just pure paranoia? But I don't think it's paranoia. I think you're just being shy but not admitting it to yourself. There's nothing wrong with being shy. I think it is very cute in moderate doses. We've all been in a situation where we've been shy and had to over-come it. We can all empathise. Just admit it! You won't lose anything.

People don't like to admit to being shy because, much like submission, its often categorized, or at least they are worried it will be perceived, as being weak. Also people often equate being introverted as being shy or embarrassed because we live in an exhibitionist society that idolizes loud/brash/pushy extroverts as the most desirable model (though paradoxically such behavior often hides the biggest insecurities). Some people however just like to keep certain things private, special.

For a while I entertained putting my vanilla pic here just so you could enjoy my pocket size venus looks,. Lol.
All jokes aside, being happily committed I don't have the need nor the desire to attract anyone, but I always wanted to know what people truly think about me and why they react to the way I look the way they do. We did a similar experiment at the psychology class, it was a demonstration about how quickly we "box" people up. Professor showed us two face portraits and asked us to write a short opinion essay about what our conclusion is of those people, with no additional information, just by looking at their faces. I always wondered what if it had been my picture; and if I ask face-to-face I never believe the answer I get to be complete/honest/unbiased.

I discarded it for two reasons: one, I really, really, really, truly HATE having my picture taken (maybe one ever 2-3 years and thats when I absolutely cant say no); and two, to do that my Dom/husband would have to agree and lets just say he is of the type that likes certain things to be for His eyes only. (And I like it that he likes it that way.)

As to the original thread question why don't Doms post pics of themselves? My theory is that they are shy, lazy and some of them are just embarrassed of their pot bellies, .

And Tom, you do have really nice eyebrows, .

[TomOfSweden]

People don't like to admit to being shy because, much like submission, its often categorized, or at least they are worried it will be perceived, as being weak. Also people often equate being introverted as being shy or embarrassed because we live in an exhibitionist society that idolizes loud/brash/pushy extroverts as the most desirable model (though paradoxically such behavior often hides the biggest insecurities). Some people however just like to keep certain things private, special.

But we're all weak. All of us. First off it doesn't take many minutes of studying biology, astronomy or physics to figure out that there's not a hell of a lot keeping us alive, and there's plenty out there that "wants" to kill us.

Secondly, the perception of weakness is built into our species. That's what it means to be a social species. We're instinctually guided toward believing that we're better off solving problems together than alone.

It takes an insane amount of self delusion to believe that you're a one man/woman army capable of tolerating any rejection. But nobody outside of an insane assylum believes that of themselves. Not really. But that's not the issue really.

The issue is whether or not we think that other people really are and really feel strong. That's a question of insecurity. We can know things without feeling it in our heart.

If you have a problem with it just take your lipstick and write this on your bathroom mirror so you'll see it every morning before work: "Everybody are always longing to be accepted and encouraged by those they respect, just like you are." It's only the type of encouragement we respond to that sets us apart.

All the "loud/brash/pushy extroverts" are all faking security. Just like you, just like me... just like everybody else. The only thing that separates us is how good we are at faking. There's no such thing as a person being in a state of harmony... Yes there is... a dead person.

[craven]

I had heard somewhere that we start to form opinions of people that we meet within 15 seconds of first seeing them.

This means that we must use looks to assist us in this process.

I don't like it when people think they know me or make judgments about and on me without knowing the real me, all of me, as such I would rather get to know someone fully, and have them reciprocate this.

it is a really irritates me when people start to think they know me, as a result of their limited contact and their impressions of me based upon how I look. Ask and I will tell all!

Which is another of the reasons why I removed my picture from my profile page, if someone wants to learn more about or understand me & find out who I really am, they can ask, as has been said We none of us have anything to prove, and I am certainly confident enough in the strength and depth of my character to make new friends and acquaintances; without having to rely upon my looks.

it is one of the reasons I picked the Avatar that I have.

[gemmy]

Perhaps not to you, but to some it is a big deal. This is freedom of choice, no? I had a mental image of you, Tom, from your posts, then I saw your pics.



I think it's wonderful that you have an open and honest relationship with your daughter. And I'm sure she's proud of your most recent photo shoot. The pics are amazing and so are you; however, not all of us are as free and open with relatives, friends, co-workers. It's not that they might be browsing this site, but someone they know might be and... "hey is this your mom, aunt, friend, teacher, mayor, etc?" Again, not posting a pic is freedom of choice.

Still, I'm off topic, as usual. hehe Yeah, I agree with Tom and gemmy - you Doms start posting some pics. We submissives want to know what we're getting into. lol

p.s. guess I'll never get that multi-quote thing right. lol

lol hunnie

Agreed - it is a choice freely made or not. To each his/her own for sure.

I really originally started the thread because of guys like bradley who say "you will give me a photo or post a photo because I am Dom and you do whatever I say but I may or may not give you mine in return" bullshit. I was hoping some more of the real, honest Dom's would give some input as well.

We all post or don't post for our own reasons and we are all entitled to those reasons, but hiding behind them thinking you (not you personally hun) are more superior than anyone else is another matter entirely and I applauded Tom for being bold enough to put it out there