hmmmm

[gemmy]

"....If you told people who know me that I am into BDSM, 70% of them would bet their lives that I am a Domme. If we are talking just about my work place, that percentage rises to 98-99%.
Because, if, hypothetically speaking, one morning during daily briefing session I blurted out “oh, btw, I am submissive” some would think its funny, some wouldn’t believe it, while I wouldn’t get fired my boss might start to think I am not ambitious, driven or capable enough to be in charge, some would have misplaced concern that I am being abused and most importantly my subordinates, 95% of them male, sexist and some of whom still have a hard time stomaching the fact they have to take orders from a petit girl half their age would think that they now get to boss me around, that I am a pushover. In my family and professional life, when things fall apart I am the one who stays in control, the one everyone leans on, I am not inclined to burst their bubble. This is just a part of whom I am, it’s not the whole of me...."

God, that is so me as well lol - even some Doms (and I use the term loosely) say I Must be switch since I'm the boss at work and always have held positions of authority lol *rme*

[craven]

95% of them male, sexist and some of whom still have a hard time stomaching the fact they have to take orders from a petit girl half their age would think that they now get to boss me around, that I am a pushover. In my family and professional life, when things fall apart I am the one who stays in control, the one everyone leans on, I am not inclined to burst their bubbler me*

it is indeed a shame that this type of attitude still exists, and I am not going to defend or deny it for I know and appreciate that it does, and it is totally indefensible.

I am glad to consider myself one of the 5%, although I feel the figures may be a little less than accurate, I am sure it varies from industry to industry and then company to company.

My work life it totally separated from my home and private lives, I am able to compartmentlise my life.

I could never imagine being in a situation whereby a female colleague or boss ( my company has a good mix of male and female senior personnel) was to state in pubic that she was a submissive, however if she did, or as is more likely confide this to me it would in no way alter our professional working relationship.

Nor would it I hasten to add if the statement was that she was a domme!

I would certainly never look at anyone and make a snap decision or judgment, based on any appearances, whether these be sex, age, colour, height or what ever.

I think we are getting back to what we first discussed in that it is not sensible, if not dangerous even, to make decisions based upon an individuals looks.

Get to know people, maybe, just maybe this is why doms do not feel the need or wish to post pictures of themselves on their profile pages !

We are looking to connect and develop relationships on a deeper and more established level.

if any sub out there wishes to see a picture of a dom I am sure that he would be only to happy to acquiesce to correctly worded and respectful requests.

Once a suitable rapport and understanding has been established of course.

[gemmy]

it is indeed a shame that this type of attitude still exists, and I am not going to defend or deny it for I know and appreciate that it does, and it is totally indefensible.

I am glad to consider myself one of the 5%, although I feel the figures may be a little less than accurate, I am sure it varies from industry to industry and then company to company.

My work life it totally separated from my home and private lives, I am able to compartmentlise my life.

I could never imagine being in a situation whereby a female colleague or boss ( my company has a good mix of male and female senior personnel) was to state in pubic that she was a submissive, however if she did, or as is more likely confide this to me it would in no way alter our professional working relationship.

Nor would it I hasten to add if the statement was that she was a domme!

I would certainly never look at anyone and make a snap decision or judgment, based on any appearances, whether these be sex, age, colour, height or what ever.

I think we are getting back to what we first discussed in that it is not sensible, if not dangerous even, to make decisions based upon an individuals looks.

Get to know people, maybe, just maybe this is why doms do not feel the need or wish to post pictures of themselves on their profile pages !

We are looking to connect and develop relationships on a deeper and more established level.

if any sub out there wishes to see a picture of a dom I am sure that he would be only to happy to acquiesce to correctly worded and respectful requests.

Once a suitable rapport and understanding has been established of course.

Firstly hun, I wasn't the original quoter on that piece, AdrianaAurora was

Secondly, on that bit about respectful requests - why is it assumed that just because someone has titled themselves "Dom" "Lord" or "Master" must it be assumed that All subs should grant them respect? or have to 'correctly word' anything?? I am not saying we should never be polite because I always am but that has no reference to whom I'm speaking with, sub, Dom, Domme, switch. I just feel it courtesy to be polite with people unless they otherwise give me a reason not to be but to automatically Have to 'correctly word or respectfully request', I don't think so!

Same can be said for all those 'doms' (again, I use the term Very loosely lol) who come at me with "you will address me correctly by calling me Sir, Master (appropriate self given dominant title here). That one makes me want to fall out of my chair laughing every single time! If you have to 'force' people to call you by a Title; you aren't worthy of said Title imo .

[craven]

Firstly hun, I wasn't the original quoter on that piece, AdrianaAurora was

Secondly, on that bit about respectful requests - why is it assumed that just because someone has titled themselves "Dom" "Lord" or "Master" must it be assumed that All subs should grant them respect? or have to 'correctly word' anything?? I am not saying we should never be polite because I always am but that has no reference to whom I'm speaking with, sub, Dom, Domme, switch. I just feel it courtesy to be polite with people unless they otherwise give me a reason not to be but to automatically Have to 'correctly word or respectfully request', I don't think so!

Same can be said for all those 'doms' (again, I use the term Very loosely lol) who come at me with "you will address me correctly by calling me Sir, Master (appropriate self given dominant title here). That one makes me want to fall out of my chair laughing every single time! If you have to 'force' people to call you by a Title; you aren't worthy of said Title imo .

Thank you Mastersgem for your thoughts, I have enjoyed reading the debate, which has progressed greatly from its original starting point I feel.

I agree totally with you in regard to doms who seek to be addressed in a specific manner, I would never request anyone to do this and indeed would be uncomfortable with being addressed in any way other than Cravan, as this is my online name, I am no ones master, sir or lord or any such title other than my submissives, it would not be right or fitting for anyone else to address me so.

I also would like to stress that I do not require or instruct my submissive to address me as such, it is for them to ask to do so, I am a firm believer that such things cannot be taken, they can only be given, this is the bond and relationship between submissive ( I do not personally like the word sub) and dom.

I was being somewhat tongue in cheek with my statement in relation to polite requests, however flippancy removed, irrespective of the nature of the culture of BDSM common courtesy should be the norm and not the exception, as such, yes if some one requests something from me I would expect a degree of politeness to accompany any said request. I know that I would ask in a similar manner, irrespective of the status of the person that I was speaking with

[gemmy]

I was being somewhat tongue in cheek with my statement in relation to polite requests, however flippancy removed, irrespective of the nature of the culture of BDSM common courtesy should be the norm and not the exception, as such, yes if some one requests something from me I would expect a degree of politeness to accompany any said request. I know that I would ask in a similar manner, irrespective of the status of the person that I was speaking with

Agree, so then ..... where the hell is your photo? (how's that for Domly/sub protocol?) *giggles madly and hides*

[Edm_Trainer]

My work life it totally separated from my home and private lives, I am able to compartmentlise my life.

I would certainly never look at anyone and make a snap decision or judgment, based on any appearances, whether these be sex, age, colour, height or what ever.

Get to know people, maybe, just maybe this is why doms do not feel the need or wish to post pictures of themselves on their profile pages !

We are looking to connect and develop relationships on a deeper and more established level.

If any sub out there wishes to see a picture of a dom I am sure that he would be only to happy to acquiesce to correctly worded and respectful requests.

Once a suitable rapport and understanding has been established of course.

Edited for brevity, and yet the words continue to outline the truth.
I speak for myself only, but simply put... there is no "fear of repercussion", there is no "shyness or fear" of anyone's pro or con reaction, there isn't even any deeper psychological debate to be had other than my singular choice.

I have pics, I simply choose not to share - until I choose to share.

And having met a couple of people from here, it can be validated that I really have no fear about meeting someone face to face.

Thus, maybe the question becomes "what is there to be gained from showing one's pic, that others could not glean from taking the time to know you better as a person?"

Just a random thought, topical or no...