hmmmm

[craven]

Claire you want a picture ask nicely and I will let you have one, LOL

[gemmy]

it is indeed a shame that this type of attitude still exists, and I am not going to defend or deny it for I know and appreciate that it does, and it is totally indefensible.

I am glad to consider myself one of the 5%, although I feel the figures may be a little less than accurate, I am sure it varies from industry to industry and then company to company.

My work life it totally separated from my home and private lives, I am able to compartmentlise my life.

I could never imagine being in a situation whereby a female colleague or boss ( my company has a good mix of male and female senior personnel) was to state in pubic that she was a submissive, however if she did, or as is more likely confide this to me it would in no way alter our professional working relationship.

Nor would it I hasten to add if the statement was that she was a domme!

I would certainly never look at anyone and make a snap decision or judgment, based on any appearances, whether these be sex, age, colour, height or what ever.

I think we are getting back to what we first discussed in that it is not sensible, if not dangerous even, to make decisions based upon an individuals looks.

Get to know people, maybe, just maybe this is why doms do not feel the need or wish to post pictures of themselves on their profile pages !

We are looking to connect and develop relationships on a deeper and more established level.

if any sub out there wishes to see a picture of a dom I am sure that he would be only to happy to acquiesce to correctly worded and respectful requests.

Once a suitable rapport and understanding has been established of course.

Firstly hun, I wasn't the original quoter on that piece, AdrianaAurora was

Secondly, on that bit about respectful requests - why is it assumed that just because someone has titled themselves "Dom" "Lord" or "Master" must it be assumed that All subs should grant them respect? or have to 'correctly word' anything?? I am not saying we should never be polite because I always am but that has no reference to whom I'm speaking with, sub, Dom, Domme, switch. I just feel it courtesy to be polite with people unless they otherwise give me a reason not to be but to automatically Have to 'correctly word or respectfully request', I don't think so!

Same can be said for all those 'doms' (again, I use the term Very loosely lol) who come at me with "you will address me correctly by calling me Sir, Master (appropriate self given dominant title here). That one makes me want to fall out of my chair laughing every single time! If you have to 'force' people to call you by a Title; you aren't worthy of said Title imo .

[blythe spirit]

Amen to that, gemmy. Politeness yes. Respect, earn it.

*skips off looking for character slurs*

[TomOfSweden]

Truly, Tom, I have no idea how it is in Sweden, but in America there's always some scandal on the news about people getting "caught" on the internet. With me, it most likely is paranoia, because the girl ain't shy - with words or actions. lol

At no point have I been talking about naked pictures. I'm just talking about regular holiday-type shots. Pictures like that couldn't offend the most easily aroused amateur-porn-surfing Bible thumper.

No, I'm not patronising. When groups of people agree on a comfortable lie and pat each others backs ensuring each other it is true, I feel it needs to be crushed before it spreads. Because I actually like seeing other peoples pictures here. If somebody who wasn't shy wants to post their pic here and hear and believe your opinion that you think it's better not to see their photo, we won't see the pic. And that I think is bad. This is a very obvious comfortable lie. The less of these the better IMHO.

Its not a question of goading anybody to post pics. If you don't want to post your picture on-line I'll respect that. I don't look down on anybody who doesn't. Just don't make up stories to make yourself feel better about not wanting to post it. That's all I ask.

[claire]

Claire you want a picture ask nicely and I will let you have one, LOL

Thanks craven, but I actually kind of like the fantasy created by the AVs.

[craven]

Firstly hun, I wasn't the original quoter on that piece, AdrianaAurora was

Secondly, on that bit about respectful requests - why is it assumed that just because someone has titled themselves "Dom" "Lord" or "Master" must it be assumed that All subs should grant them respect? or have to 'correctly word' anything?? I am not saying we should never be polite because I always am but that has no reference to whom I'm speaking with, sub, Dom, Domme, switch. I just feel it courtesy to be polite with people unless they otherwise give me a reason not to be but to automatically Have to 'correctly word or respectfully request', I don't think so!

Same can be said for all those 'doms' (again, I use the term Very loosely lol) who come at me with "you will address me correctly by calling me Sir, Master (appropriate self given dominant title here). That one makes me want to fall out of my chair laughing every single time! If you have to 'force' people to call you by a Title; you aren't worthy of said Title imo .

Thank you Mastersgem for your thoughts, I have enjoyed reading the debate, which has progressed greatly from its original starting point I feel.

I agree totally with you in regard to doms who seek to be addressed in a specific manner, I would never request anyone to do this and indeed would be uncomfortable with being addressed in any way other than Cravan, as this is my online name, I am no ones master, sir or lord or any such title other than my submissives, it would not be right or fitting for anyone else to address me so.

I also would like to stress that I do not require or instruct my submissive to address me as such, it is for them to ask to do so, I am a firm believer that such things cannot be taken, they can only be given, this is the bond and relationship between submissive ( I do not personally like the word sub) and dom.

I was being somewhat tongue in cheek with my statement in relation to polite requests, however flippancy removed, irrespective of the nature of the culture of BDSM common courtesy should be the norm and not the exception, as such, yes if some one requests something from me I would expect a degree of politeness to accompany any said request. I know that I would ask in a similar manner, irrespective of the status of the person that I was speaking with

[craven]

With you on that Claire

[gemmy]

I was being somewhat tongue in cheek with my statement in relation to polite requests, however flippancy removed, irrespective of the nature of the culture of BDSM common courtesy should be the norm and not the exception, as such, yes if some one requests something from me I would expect a degree of politeness to accompany any said request. I know that I would ask in a similar manner, irrespective of the status of the person that I was speaking with

Agree, so then ..... where the hell is your photo? (how's that for Domly/sub protocol?) *giggles madly and hides*

[Ozme52]

lol Oz - ok checked your profile, tis not there either - there are many places you can put it you know *giggles* (hmmm note to self: talk to Amber...)

*whistles innocently*

Look for it quickly or it may disappear on you...

[Edm_Trainer]

My work life it totally separated from my home and private lives, I am able to compartmentlise my life.

I would certainly never look at anyone and make a snap decision or judgment, based on any appearances, whether these be sex, age, colour, height or what ever.

Get to know people, maybe, just maybe this is why doms do not feel the need or wish to post pictures of themselves on their profile pages !

We are looking to connect and develop relationships on a deeper and more established level.

If any sub out there wishes to see a picture of a dom I am sure that he would be only to happy to acquiesce to correctly worded and respectful requests.

Once a suitable rapport and understanding has been established of course.

Edited for brevity, and yet the words continue to outline the truth.
I speak for myself only, but simply put... there is no "fear of repercussion", there is no "shyness or fear" of anyone's pro or con reaction, there isn't even any deeper psychological debate to be had other than my singular choice.

I have pics, I simply choose not to share - until I choose to share.

And having met a couple of people from here, it can be validated that I really have no fear about meeting someone face to face.

Thus, maybe the question becomes "what is there to be gained from showing one's pic, that others could not glean from taking the time to know you better as a person?"

Just a random thought, topical or no...