Love and BDSM----Question?

[DarkPoet]

Love makes life richer in all its emotional facets, and that also applies to every sexual experience, including BDSM "play" - despite all resentments others have against the word "play" in that context, I find it very fitting, because child-like playfullness is one of the main character traits neccessary to experience own limits (but I digress...)

That doesn't mean that you can't have mind-blowing, earth shattering sex without love or love someone deeply and satisfyingly without a sexual undertone. But having someone there in your darkest hours who holds you in his/her arms and doesn't need any explanations, someone who knows you faults and shares in your learning experience instead of pressuring you to become flawless, builds a trust and bond that goes so deep, it makes every sexual experience with that person double in depth.

Yet I'm quite convinced that such a close relationship isn't always the thing that is best for us. It's something we grow into, having different kinds of relationships along the way that help us discover ourselves, until factors like age, illnesses and personal losses make us appreciate the value of permanent commitment and stable circumstances, and in turn make us ripe to commit ourselves to real love.

But as love can't really be covered by simple descriptions (and especially not my clumsy wordings) there are exceptions to every rule, and it also isn't unheard of that true love has grown over time from the seeds you mentioned, DomCt2002, so "or what" is probably quite close

[rooshoe]

Love makes life richer in all its emotional facets, and that also applies to every sexual experience, including BDSM "play" - despite all resentments others have against the word "play" in that context, I find it very fitting, because child-like playfullness is one of the main character traits neccessary to experience own limits (but I digress...)

That doesn't mean that you can't have mind-blowing, earth shattering sex without love or love someone deeply and satisfyingly without a sexual undertone. But having someone there in your darkest hours who holds you in his/her arms and doesn't need any explanations, someone who knows you faults and shares in your learning experience instead of pressuring you to become flawless, builds a trust and bond that goes so deep, it makes every sexual experience with that person double in depth.

Yet I'm quite convinced that such a close relationship isn't always the thing that is best for us. It's something we grow into, having different kinds of relationships along the way that help us discover ourselves, until factors like age, illnesses and personal losses make us appreciate the value of permanent commitment and stable circumstances, and in turn make us ripe to commit ourselves to real love.

This is funny (except it's not): i am smack in the middle of a situation that is in line with what DarkPoet said: "I'm quite convinced that such a close relationship isn't always the thing that is best for us." I recently made the decision to end a 2+ year relationship, partly because i'm not ready to settle down and because essentially, i want more "on my own" experience. By and large, it's been a really good relationship, the timing just is off.

I guess i'm just not yet scared shitless to be alone... yet somehow i still feel like shit.