Originally posted by Synfall:
I've never understood why it's so much harder to escape abuse that's delivered under the guise of meaning well. I guess when the people in question aren't trying to physically harm you it's harder to hold their actions up to past experience and say, this is just as bad as that. Maybe it's just the fact that physical abuse leaves a visible mark and is harder to hide.
As you said, "physical abuse leaves a mark." With any type of emotional abuse, but especially that "delivered under the guise of meaning well," the abused person can easily fall into doubt. They think it's their fault, and /or they feel guilty about what is happening, as if it is their own fault.

If there is blood or a mark or an injury it's much easier to see. If the evidence of the abuse is mostly in the abused persons head it's much more difficult.

It took me many years into my adulthood to realize that what happened to me was really abuse. In fact, at first I argued with my therapist against that. Abuse was something that only happened to other people, not to me.

Now that I admitted to myself that I was actually abused, I am recovering. Because I took so long to see that and to get help for it, I feel like I will never be totally free of it. There are some effects that I cannot shake off. But like an alcoholic at an AA meeting, I will make it day by day. Just as you will. You, like everyone here, are a survivor.


Originally posted by Synfall:
others are simply lashing out because they have been hurt. Regardless of whether or not that can be considered an excuse, it's a cycle of abuse one way or another.
But it is not an excuse. Abuse is abuse. There is no excuse. The guilt is theirs not yours. It is good that you do not want to join in the cycle. Even if you can distinguish between the two, you do not have to take part. Playing with the darkness, will get you sucked in.

Originally posted by Synfall:
... It sounds stupid the way I'm explaining it. It doesn't make sense when I try to type it out.
It doesn't. You might think that some of us are so eloquent in our delivery and our storytelling, it's just because right now we have a bit more practice than you do.

Believe me, we understand what you are saying, some of us have gone through exactly that.