Biggest problem in BDSM or Lifestyle

[Virulent]

the biggest problem to me is finding a partner and a lasting relationship... The Third problem I find is in finding a partner that your looking for in your own area who wants and likes and needs all you can supply them and that includes all the kinks, desires, wants and needs and hard and soft limits or is that just me?

These are indeed problems, but I don't think they're related to BDSM. Vanilla people have these exact same problems too; haven't you heard them whine about it? Of the time my coworkers are not talking about reality television, I would suppose that 90% of it is spent on the discussion of problems within their boring, shallow relationships.

once in the lifestyle, people look at you kinda like your a weirdo

Do you walk around with a leather mask on? Do you keep a paddle on your desk? If you advertise your sexuality in public, I am unsurprised that you're treated like a weirdo. Once again, this has nothing to do with BDSM, and everything to do with the fact that the vast majority of people don't want to know a fucking thing about your sex life. If you don't advertise your sexuality in public but still find yourself being treated like a creep, is it possible that has always been the case, but you're just noticing now?