I subsequently read replies by craven and rowen.

craven, there is no 'balance of power'. When you submit, you give up your power to the dominant. That doesn't mean you have no input... doesn't mean you can't take your submission back and end the relationship... doesn't mean you abbrogate your rights to have limits, some soft, some hard... but you hand your power over everything within those boundaries, to the dominant. If you believe there is a balance of power, I submit that you are holding back.

rowen, your questions are all valid, and from my perspective, most dom/mes enjoy the things you ask about... room to be playful, to probe and explore the boundaries, to have a personality of your own. BUT... I will point out that whatever you do, regardless of intent, the perception of your dom/me is going to be his/her reality. If he/she sees an act as playful, then you are in sync. If he/she sees it at disobedient or disrespectful, then regardless of your intent, you were disrespectful and there will be consequences. Punishment? I guess that depends on the defintion. Perhaps the consequence is a lecture. Perhaps the end of the scene...