Dirty Words

[denuseri]

I have nothing against erotic humiliation. In fact, it's one of my major turn-ons. I'll happily answer to just about anything my lover chooses to call me. What I do have a problem with in this lifestyle is the almost constant verbal degradation of those perceived to be at the extreme end of the spectrum in regards to submission. We call them all manner of things, including unsophisticated, timid, needy, and weak, but most often, we refer to them as doormats.

Society lauds the accomplishments of the strong, independent, self-sufficient go-getters while condemning those who are self-effacing and meek. Feminists have done much to alleviate the notion that women are somehow inferior to men in intellect and ability as was common conjecture until the mid 1900s. However, somewhere along the way, those who didn't live up to the Wonder Woman image of modern times became scapegoats and targets of derision.

Just observe how many submissive women feel it necessary to state that they aren't weak and don't need a dominant male to make their lives complete. Obviously, there is still a stigma attached to being submissive, even amongst those in the lifestyle. Further evidence of this can be seen in the number of dominant males who feel it necessary to proclaim that they only seek those who have something besides themselves to bring to the table. Apparently, the gift of submission isn't held in as high esteem as lifestylers would have one believe.

It seems to me, from my observations, that these dominant males seeking strong females don't want to be needed. They want her to take care of herself as well as him. She can be a CEO in the real world, but she's to be nothing more than a fetch-and-carry when she gets home. WTF?!? On the other hand, there are plenty of submissive females who love to reiterate again and again that they submit by choice and not by need. Since when did need become a dirty word? You can talk about taking a break from reality when you get home all you want, but it still leaves the question as to what to do about those for which this isn't a game to be played in the bedroom but a real life need to be dominated and controlled in order to be a happy and functioning member of society.

Why, especially here, should people who are deeply submissive be made to feel that they are subhuman and something to be avoided at all costs. Why aren't they, instead, praised and emulated? Why are those who are willing to do anything to please their master regarded as unhealthy and undesirable?

Tom of Sweden loves his wife/slave whom he considers a doormat. There's another married M/s couple on another BDSM site whose posts detail the fact that she is loved and cherished above all else, even though she's the type that unless you take her by the hand and lead her out will stand in the subway all day letting others go first. With all the soul-searching I've done over the last 2 years or so, I've come to realize, or maybe knew all along but was afraid to admit even to myself, that I would be happiest if I could just be myself, a stereotypical weak woman, enslaved by and dependent upon her master, instead of trying to convince myself and everyone else that I'm exactly the opposite.

The question burning in my mind is this. With so few masters actually willing to be entirely responsible for another human being, where does that leave the truely submissive? Where can they (we?) find a safe haven and acceptance, if not here in the lifestyle? With everyone encouraging others to just be themselves, why does it always feel like they're (we're?) not included?

AMEN MY SISTER!!!!!!

It is a long steep and hard road to seeing these things, at least it was for me. Many times i rejected myself, struggled with the two" me"s the one that thinks it has to be an "porper independent woman" and the one that craves to submit on my knees in front of man,.it took a lot to finally be cool with who and what i am to exist in this world of doublestandards.

Most of my life I couldnt see past all the BS enforced upon me by the modern "feminist" dogma shoved repeatably down my throat every day, ironically alongside all the sterotyping done with advertising and movies that promote my subjectification while expecting me to be a feme fatal and kick some ass!

, I mean really what did they want me to be? A virgin or a slut? Wonderwoman or Lious Lane? Knight or Damsel in distress? oh wait wrong analogy that last one. Guess if I go back far enough in history the double standards kind of go to the wayside. Hence why i like history so much. Of course the feminist would tell me i have it all wrong they just want me to be myself, all the while spouting emasculating rehtoric around me to make me think its not ok to submit to a man. Please RME

Your right of course boo, i have seen it even here, where some (especially other submissives) debase the girls that want to submit so bad, that in thier naivity or need they run into cyber sex and debase themselves just to get that "fix" for dominance if even for a fleeting moment with anyone willing to give it to them (cuase who wants a return visit from a doormat right? something must be wrong with them) SMH.

I may have even seemed guilty of it myself. I sure know for a fact when I first came to the site I was labeled as a cyber slut, mostly by my own sisters. (Even if 90% of my time in pvt chats wasnt even remotely sexual) Such peer pressure has its effects too I even "reverted in my submission here at home some becuase of it, fortunately I have a wonderful man that is strong and wouldnt let me go too far and jerks my lesh when it needs jerking, i am so very lucky in that regaurd.
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It took a while to realize that a lot of it was becuase "they" the ones doing the stereotyping and looking down, calling me and others like me a slut, or worse a doormat at times, one even called me "collared meat"

They were in fact only doing so becuase they really just didnt see the real picture when it comes to M/s or D/s whatever you want to call it and still had the wool over thier eyes as i once did, and couldnt see the forest for the trees.

Instead of branding our sisters we should be reaching out more to actually help each other, just like I see this post of yours doing FRH.

For that I appluad you boo
thanku for this enlightening post
hugs and kissess
your sisa
denuseri